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Thinking for yourself can be a challenging undertaking. It takes a strong individual with a strong mind, to be self-reliant within their life. This undertaking is not for the faint, or weak of heart; moreover, it is only the individual who owns the capacity to think for themselves. Some people may in fact think they have the capacity to think for themselves; consequently, these same people are definitely delusional as well as mentally corrupt. There will be experiences within your life, which may leave you fragmented after the experience has passed. These experiences have left a mark within your mind, within your heart, and within your soul. These experiences may now define you, but only if you succumb to this certain experience’s intent. Nothing within this life should be taken personally, as everything which you experience within this life only exists to help you heal yourself. Most people will not see these experiences within this paradigm, as they are content living out their lives as professional victims. The individual, the true thorough individual; will not take life personally, and will intrinsically know life is a game, as they are their own master of their reality, not a master of victimization. These thorough individuals, design their own lives; never allowing another’s thoughts, words, or deeds, hinder or halt the plans within their life. Within this life; curious circumstances may ultimately reveal themselves differently to you, then what you originally interpreted them to be. You may have already noticed this clearly within your life, as life is peculiar within its secret ways. Never surrender to the unknown circumstances you may find within life’s secret ways; it exists to help you, to show you the way to walk down its sacred paths. You will walk down many sacred paths within this life, as directions may change of you when new opportunities are presented to you and your life. Most of the faint and weak of heart, will not see life within its magical light; consequently, resulting in spending the remainder of their lifetime feeling lost, and confused as to what to do and how to do it. For those who know what resides behind life’s closed and/or locked doors, these individuals intuitively know all they need to do is to knock on the closed/ locked door, so it will open and reveal itself to the strong and courageous. If you do not act upon an opportunity, you never know what you may be missing out on in life. What would be the worst think that could happen to you by taking a chance on yourself? What type of loss lives within the fear embedded within your heart? It is silly when you think about it, and say it aloud, isn’t it? Fear is a thorn within the heart, which keeps it from beating fully within the body energy. If you remove the thorn, you will free yourself from all of your past mistakes, guilt, and false beliefs, which are unfortunately holding you back from properly living your life. Now, you know what is holding you back, what are you going to do now? Are you going to act upon your dreams, or are you going to believe the falsity of the fake fear within your heart, and your body energy? The thorough individual has already acted upon their strength, as they already know the truth about life. If you find yourself to be faint and weak of heart; please take the time to relieve yourself of this faintness, of this weakness, and to find the strength within you to pull out this thorn within your sacred, holy, and bruised heart.

The child within the mother’s womb; will undoubtedly inherit all of the mother’s strengths, weaknesses, guilts, pains, agonies, thought processes, and most of all: her blood. The only purpose a man possesses within this process, is the fertilization of the egg within the mother’s womb. The strength of Lilith, resides within the womb of all women. Lilith is the archetypal prototype, as the Ancients designed her to be the mold; internal and external, for all women to be created from. She was cast out of Paradise, for displaying her internal nature of being strong, fearless, independent, self-reliant, and undeniably relentless; subservient to nothing, and to no one. Men are of the external archetype; as their erect penis extends outward, and away from their body. Whereas, women are of the internal archetype; as their vaginas extend inward, towards their heart. This is the sole reason why women are constantly feeling, as men are constantly thinking. The erect penis extending outward; drives men to conquer territory, which can only ever belong to the Ancients. The inward path of the vagina, leads to the inner heart of feelings and emotions. The differences between the creative influxes of men and women; this is the differentiation between the true internal path to one’s own heart, and the true external path of absolution and resurrection within the internal domain. One may take into consideration, overly sexed men; having stagnated, strained, and volatile relationships with their maternal undertakings. They are subconsciously seeking to submerge themselves within any woman’s vagina, in order to heal themselves of the agonies faced throughout their development within their own mother’s womb. This is also true with overly sexed women; seeking out to heal their hearts from the agonies they faced throughout their development with their own paternal seed. We all live our lives through these paradigms and archetypes; seeking a form of treatment, seeking a cure to remedy the traumas within our childhood. We are always seeking a way out of the thoughts, which torment us on a daily basis. Life is the only form of treatment, which will heal the mind, the soul, and the body energy field.

The dewdrop unexpectedly fell away- I could not find the words I was supposed to say- if there were ever any to say- I never knew the place– where I was supposed to be- if there was ever a chase– within her place– she is here again– singing her eyes at me- lost within- blending skin– memories and sanctuaries of forgotten ossuaries– my heart tears and rips within– seeking of what she has always sought- always leading to broken trances and romances- drowning within the sorrowed rot- the dewdrops are singing to me again- I can hear their songs crying in the wind- breaking the silence of my dreams- she is nothing as she seems- a realization to behold– a secret I have never told- until now–

Causative reactions fluctuate hyperbolically within a systemic and diluted thought process. Another place you can call home. No amount of tears will extinguish the flame which burns me alive. I am the synthesis of the underground. The quality of deathly frustrations. Life is a creation within the flesh. Its own mistake. Shattering all disbelief and hyperbolizes. The new reaction occurs. Blurring the illusion right before you. A sunrise in the west. Living life backwards. Your only way of life. Self-de(con)struction rid you of me. Self-sabotage created your bondage. Another way of the snake. The fake. The diluted thought process. A recess of the soul. Words without control. A distant metaphor sneaking up on you. Killers. Without you I am back to when the world existed without you. Now I know this is the only place I will be able to live my life. Numb. Fulfilled. Impeccable.

I can remember a time when you and I were close; almost too close some would say. You always thought the others were jealous of the bond, the connection you and I shared. I knew better, I knew the whole truth; the truth the others knew nothing about. When you and I were young, our hearts were pure; the type of pureness which can only be found in youth. The world was one big exploration for you and I; a journey with no beginning and no end. You and I would always run through that field with the newly fallen leaves. That field was special to you, it reminded you of home; the home you knew before you started experiencing the torment, anger, and rage from your step-father. You would learn all too soon what was behind all of the afflictions he nourished you with. I could never understand why your mother would always turn away, or never believing anything you would try to talk to her about. Maybe internally, she knew the truth; never allowing herself to look you in the eyes again, to see that truth alive, in person. As your step-father was paying for you and your mother’s lifestyle, maybe she thought you were part of a sickening, carnal type of payback, you and her would just have to endure. I never thought anyone could endure what you have endured within your young lifetime; yet you still have the love and joy within your pure heart, which has not been stripped away from you at such a young age. Maybe you have known this the whole time, maybe you never noticed, or just maybe you feel the same as I do; the truth about me is that I am in love with you. From the moment you and I met, it has always been this way for me. There has never been a day which has passed, that I did not close my eyes and think about you. I can still remember how your hair smelled on that fall afternoon. There has never been a day which has passed, that I do not think about our kiss, our first kiss, under the warmth of the wilting maple tree. I can still remember how the sunshine tasted on your lips. I can still remember breathing in the air you were breathing out. I can still taste your lips on mine, the sunshine was blinding. I can still smell that fall field in your hair, and how your warm, delicate, fragile body felt in my arms. I think about you every moment I am alive. It is hard to believe; you and I will no longer be able to walk that field together. I will walk that field alone, thinking of you, your smell, your kisses, and the love and passion you allowed me to see within you, before you went away. It was the only way you were going to be free from the torment and abuse, which you faced on a daily basis. When I took your life away from you, I need you to know, as I told you while I was doing it; I did it solely and purely out of love. You are, and were, the most precious gift I have ever known, within this lifetime. I will leave you this letter upon the roots of the large, wilting maple tree, where you and I used to lean back upon, as I would hold you in my arms. This letter will be in good company, along with the other letters I have left for you on the same day, every year since I buried you. I purposefully buried you underneath our wilting maple tree, so when I am laying underneath its long branches, I am still laying and holding you my love. Sweet dreams my love; know that our love is eternal.