Part 1: There are many different breeds, but none such as the one I have found for you. I know you think there may not be a difference between any of them. I assure you, there is a huge difference between all of them. The combination of all the differences is quite astounding, yet they are easy to see with the trained and naked eye. But you are well trained, aren’t you? He trained you real good for me, down to the last drop. Your eyes are the only parts of your body that are not naked. It was part of your training; the loss of dignity, and self-respect. I have always though highly of you, even though you think I do not. There really is no difference between you and I. We both harbor the same hatred, disgust, suicidal thoughts, and even the same thought process. The only real difference between you and I, is that I can hide my damage better than you.
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Part 2:
Part 2: I have been thinking about it, about her, all night. I cannot get her out of my mind. She told me we knew one another in a past life. It was another one of life’s mysteries; an undiscovered underwater rock formation. I know this path, as I have traveled down it many times before. They think they know me, using their common adjectives to describe me internally. There are not words to align with who and what I am. I allow them to think whatever they want; they are going to do it anyway. Their minds are already certain, and made up; they distinctly know who I am. It is an association of a past experience they really know; not me, not who or what I am or about. I have become accustomed to it now; it has taken a whole lifetime to get used to. This is why all of the birds fly away from me; they already think they know who and what I am. No one has ever taken the time to listen, to see, and to understand the true meaning contained within my words. It is an expectation which will continue to exist unfulfilled. It does not bother me anymore, it used to, but not anymore. There is this deep flow which exists within me. This flow craves for someone to naturally have the ability to authentically transmute the meaning within my words. It is a delusional prospect, I know; yet the cravings never cease.
Part 3:
Part 3: The long periods of silence, bleed profusely through her words. I sank so deeply into that moment. I knew at that moment; the bleeding would never stop. There is not any type of stitch, which would be fitting for this kind of wound. Nothing will ever be able to sew the part of you up, which is boring within me. The moments of your voice, are the deceptions within my mind. I listen closely; as to not miss out on any secrets, which may slip through past your dull razor tongue. It is another delusion I have been feeding myself. My appetite is growing weaker, yet I still want to consume all of you. It will never be enough for me. I will never be enough for you.
The Crow’s Caw
When the crow caws- it recognizes you- it is cawing at you- the crow knows your name- the crow knows your secrets- your lies- your fears- it knows all about the delicate strands- holding your secrets- lies- fears- and your life together- as the crow was the entity who weaved them all together- nothing will ever remain hidden from the caw of the crow- it knows all which pertain to life- and to death- the caw is the transition from life to death- and from death to life- humanity dwells in between the circumstances- in between the light and the darkness- in between love and fear- and in between the translucent veil of life and death.
The Color of Black
Part 4:
Part 4: Running away from me. Your barriers are unbreakable, even to me. I never felt the need to be around you until now. The feeling shatters my self-respect and dignity into nothingness. The way you held the bricks in front of your face allowed me to know how you truly felt about me; another sinking dip into the nothingness of what our relationship is. How could it be anything more than this? You and I would never allow it. I know you want to come out; revealing yourself from behind your lies, but they protect you so well. There is no way I could protect you better than your lies do. Your lips are so sensuous, they make your lies so kind and gentle; a soft deterioration only I could crave. It is me; it has always been me. I am the only one who has longed for you, who has craved you, who has needed you. I have always felt useless for wanting you, needing you. It is a feeling only a worthless vagrant could fully understand. There will never be anything or anyone, which could come between you and I. I am the one who needs you the most, more than anything, more than anyone. I am your end; I will be the last image your eyes will see before they go black.
