Tag: self reliance

Back in 2018

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This was the first book I published back in 2018. The title of the book, You Cannot Put a Picture in My Frame of Mind, comes from lyrics to a song I had written back in 1999. In the late 90’s to early 2000’s, I was lead guitarist for a death metal band here in Houston, Texas. Nothing ever became of the band, because I quit when I decided to check myself into a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. This book is a culmination of song lyrics, daily journal entries, and dream journal entries, which I had written pre and post sobriety. I sobered up to save my life, yet throughout the years, I sometimes question if it was all worth it. Sometimes it is yes; sometimes it is not yes. It’s interesting how life can take you to places, which you never thought you would experience. The highs and lows seem to balance themselves out: flatlining. I have no words of wisdom, or “deep” philosophical insights, which no one truly gets. I have nothing for you today, except for you to enjoy your life. If you do not experience life, it might turn on you like a rabid dog, and experience you.

Happiness

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The only thing which brings a glimpse of happiness into my life is writing these blog posts.

I Know You Do

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It is these hollow mornings that will definitely eat you alive. In one solid bite. In one solid swallow. Those softly creeping footsteps you keep hearing coming from behind you, those footsteps are the sound of uncertainty coming to pay you a visit. An old friend who would like to remind you of your life and of your past. As though you do not have enough remnants of your past haunting you on a daily basis, uncertainty wants to make sure you absorb it fully, wholly, and completely. All of it. Every tiny morsel. Family and friends are also laughing at you. They never could understand your thought process, let alone anything which makes you who you are. The voices are grading and intruding upon one’s consciousness; violating the serenity wanting to bloom from within. No one could ever understand me, but I know you do. At least you act as though you do.

Undertows

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Words have undercurrents, or undertows you could say. Contained within these underlying depths; this is where the true intentions, the true meaning of that in which is being communicated and inhabits. This is also where the fragmented deaths you have experienced within your life go to live and breathe. Nothing is permanent, as life, and everything contained within it are temporary. Finding peace within yourself (within your words) is the only peace you will find within your waking life.

All we need to do is think for ourselves properly; never allowing external forces to propagandize our thought process. Many “people” within our current civilization, do not have the capacity to properly think for themselves, as they are strangers to the critical thinking aspect of their mentality. For the majority of “people” this aspect of their mentality does not exist. These “people” become confused when they hear words they do not understand; moreover, they become more confused when the definitions of words they use have been suddenly changed. Words are used today, in which their definitions do not belong to them. Change the words and definitions of the “people”; you change the way the “people” think. This is the Control Machine’s undying purpose and goal. To control one’s thought, is to control one’s very own soul.

Returning our mind’s ownership to ourselves, is probably the most important act you will ever endure within this lifetime. The majority of “people” no longer enjoy thinking for themselves, as they prefer to be guided, and ultimately told why, what, and how to think. For the majority of “people”, they no longer see the purpose, or find any type of need to think for themselves. It’s okay, let the Control Machine think for you. By doing so, the Control Machine will comfort you with all of the mental anguish you have always longed for. When one accepts mental laziness, one ultimately accepts mental death within themselves.

Self-Reliance

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Henry Rollins once said, “…all you have is yourself and your mind…” Over the course of my lifetime, I have come to understand just how true that statement is. Self-reliance within itself, is truly the only tangible grasp one can feel within their lives, as one is holding on to their nonconformist ideologies. In case you were wondering, I have never been able to depend on anyone within this lifetime; let alone trust anyone for that matter. All you can trust is one’s nature, and how they will live their life in accordance to their nature. Resourcefulness, nonconformity, volition, and self-reliance are the traits of an individual, who will only know success within their lifetime. Compliance = Death. Not necessarily a physical death, but the death of your consciousness. Remember that.

Conditioned.

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At this very moment. You are being conditioned. In thought. In word. In deed. They are not your own, as these are circumstances “brought to you by (buy)” the Control Machine. Your new best friend. Your new God. Your new parental advocacy committee. Your New Normal. You are living a lifestyle/lifetime, that has been carefully molded and mandated for the consumption and convenience of your consciousness. That gritty taste upon your tongue, and in between your teeth; that’s the taste of dirt in your mouth. What else would you be tasting lying six feet under, trapped in a casket?