Tag: occult

Life’s Gift

ggkalfas

Searching for the unsearchable. I have been looking around all of these years for you, and I am still unable to find you. Why are you deliberately hiding yourself from me? I will find you very soon, probably sooner than what you are expecting. But do not expect too much from me, I will only give you what I feel you deserve to have: pain. I will present this great gift before you, once I find out exactly where it is you are hiding. Don’t worry, you will never hear or see me coming. I will sneak into your life just as you did with mine. I will have your pain placed in a pretty, bow-tied box; quietly and patiently waiting for you upon your doorstep. Pain is the greatest gift anyone could give, as pain is the truest of all healing gifts; allowing one to thoroughly learn about themselves. I have known of this gift my entire life, as it was given to me at such an early age. Now, I will share it with you; every single last bit of it. I will give, and give, and give to you; until there is no more left within me to give. This will be the greatest blessing you will ever know. The gods do not give blessings such as the one I am giving to you. It will solely belong to you, as you will now have ownership of this great gift. Do not worry if you do not know how to use it at first; it will come with instructions:

1) Use daily every 6 hours.

2) Share with friends and loved ones.

3) Repeat for the rest of your life.

4) Do not forget to follow these instructions.

You see, it is easy and user friendly. Do not get emotional and anxious on me now. It might seem tedious and overwhelming at first, but you will get the hang of it; I promise. Why am I being so generous by giving you this amazing, life changing gift? Well, it is because I care very deeply for you, and would like for you to one day see yourself as I see you. It is one of life’s amazingly demented jokes on us humans; seeing ourselves differently as to how the others see us. We often see ourselves within a much darker light, than what others use to see us with, or vice versa. This is a common mistake we will sometimes make, as we explore through our lives; correcting the mistakes of our past. This is what most of our life transitions into: a correction in process. There is no need to be so hard on yourself; this is the whole reason as to why, I am giving you this wonderful gift. Over time, you will thoroughly learn how to use this gift properly, in the right way, with every single person you will ever come into contact with. It is important to keep this gift in mind, as you definitely do not want to share it with just anyone. Besides, it is special, and specialness is only for the select few. You really do not want to end up like one of those weak-minded bastards, who share their gift with random strangers at the laundromat or the grocery store. This type of behavior is socially unacceptable, and frankly I find it to be rather obnoxious. Keep your secrets and your gift safe, and when the time is right, the person whom you are supposed to share your gift with will reveal themselves to you; just as you revealed yourself to me.

Masochism at its Finest

ggkalfas

Menstrual holocaust. Frozen entity. Wanting to be near me. Closed off. Shut down. Cherry picking wants and needs. Blowing me wilted kisses. Crushing the deadliest love straight through me. Squeezing the intellect out of my cock with your hugs. Dead thoughts. Without warning. Taking over the thought mechanisms. Tune down. Dropped life. Disappointment sets in. The same story repeated. A different book. Written in another language. I always read the same story for some reason. An unlearned lesson. It seems to be the only story I know how to read. The only story I know how to live. It is always the same. Contagious. Self-depreciating. Masochism at its finest. Soul bondage. A noose for good luck. It fits perfectly. Just like the rest of the nooses I have collected over the years. Masochism for sport. A daytime religious delusion spurting itself out. Lost within a nighttime stigmata of a retracted soul.

A Passionate Embrace Within the Nothingness

ggkalfas

Nestled deeply underneath the crusted layers. Tightly woven in between the soft tissue. Covering the organism’s exoskeleton. Devouring itself from the inside out. Thoroughly maintaining equilibrium. Maintaining true authenticity. It keeps me safe at night. Warm. Protected. Secure. Hiding away from the world. Keeping my authenticity safely hidden. My secret endeavor. My secret life’s work. I am invisible. No one can find me. No one will ever be able to find me. Hiding in plain sight. I need to hide myself more often. I desperately need to protect myself away from those thoughts. All I want is to be left alone and loved at the same time. I want to hide myself away and be seen all at the same time. I am fucked up in this curious way. I will tightly bind and nestle myself into my own womb. My secret chrysalis. I will transform into what I was meant to be. Strong. The urge to KILL burdens my shoulders. If I was given the opportunity to get away with it. There would be no hesitation. NONE. This is why I hide myself away. I know I would thoroughly enjoy it. I would cum all over myself. This is why I hide myself away from the world. I enjoy the smell of necrosis. How many people do you know who could admit that? I hide myself in the deepest and darkest corners of my room. I want to shrink myself, so I can hide more efficiently. Delicately. Compartmentalized efficiency. Necrotic compartmentalized efficiency disorder. I want to be invisible to myself. I will never have to see myself ever again. Each time I look into the mirror I look different. Slightly unrecognizable. I am afraid one day a stranger will appear in front of me. I will be the stranger I see in the mirror. A pleasant surprise. A chance to meet new people. A chance to meet myself. Another part of me. The real me. A hidden part of me. Or simply another delusion contained within me. Is there a difference? I am the difference. The difference between the surface and the subterranean. All of the internal personalities I have become acquainted with during the time I have spent here. Friends for life. Best friends forever. Long lost friends. A passionate embrace within the nothingness. A varied necrotic compartmentalized deficiency disorder. I will keep me safe and protected from myself, and from this necrotic world I currently inhabit. The defiled world I seem to thrive in. I am my only hope. I hope I can count on myself. I better make myself count. This is the only hope I have for any type of mental peace. Who am I kidding? You?

Necrotic Whispers

ggkalfas

It is as delicate and solitary, as the night is dark and indulgent. My mind. You have prodded at it enough. Callused membrane. Futility exists, when trying to comprehend its contents. There is no use to indulge yourself within the realms of honesty and purity. There are no thoughts for you to reflect upon, or to bathe within. The sweet sad notes of your voice; lingering and tingling within the shards of broken glass you swallowed. There is no future here for you to dwell within. There only exists the past of consecrated misfortunes and prior devastations, which will only know your broken words and thoughts, for your consideration. The tingling of shattered nerves, seem to scratch and itch within themselves. Ready to ignite the soulmates and the soul’s fates. You were speaking empty words, with a native tongue, within the singularity of tempting the masses. Your people. Sweating and wetting upon your unguarded fleshy mind. A doormat for strangers to walk over. Welcome. Come on in. Make yourself at home. The song within your beaten heart, will never be sung nor heard. The stinging within your words, will forever linger upon your dripping tongue. Another shattered and lathered bedtime story. Waiting for me to tuck you in; tucking you back into your coma. Time flies when you are unconscious, as this is the best way to travel. Dead weight as carry-on luggage. Dead weight for others to carry-on. An inconsideration you will always consider. I can hear your necrotic whispers in my ears. You thought they would sound sexy in my ears. My ears have heard it all.

Words Fly Away

ggkalfas

One fragmented disillusion at a time. Can only handle one at a time. Systemic retribution is annihilated. Quietly annihilated. Creep into it softly. As soft as you can. One breath and one death at a time. The secret contained within the lie. Incantated words of deliberate creation. No use for binding. They will freely fly away. Words fly away. Doomed to relive your faded ways. Within death’s eyes is where you will stay. Give life to yourself. The inner midnight radiance of your glow. I have seen how you have no more to show. More than what you have the ability to contain. Another onset through the manipulated senses. This will give rise to a specific type of self-doubt. Never ending. Always manipulating your biological rehabilitation. The never-ending cycle of neurosis. A mental rehabilitation. Spiritual fascination.

A Lost Artform

ggkalfas

These are the hands, which create the living understanding of what you and I have become. There is no other way for you and I to live within one another, other than complete and total annihilation of the way you and I used to live. This can be quite a devastating undertaking, even for the steel-minded types, such as you and I. I am my own internal and external, my own creation within the rotted devastation of society’s excrement. I am my own consciousness; my own reality. I am beginning to see into the depths of just how frivolous the external world of achievement truly is. Living one’s life, is quickly becoming a lost artform; an ancient language written in cuneiform. The sheeple within the external realm, lack the fundamental understandings, of what conscious and unconscious truly means within one’s creative processes. Yet, there are not many people within this realm, who know how to read cuneiform.