This was the first book I published back in 2018. The title of the book, You Cannot Put a Picture in My Frame of Mind, comes from lyrics to a song I had written back in 1999. In the late 90’s to early 2000’s, I was lead guitarist for a death metal band here in Houston, Texas. Nothing ever became of the band, because I quit when I decided to check myself into a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. This book is a culmination of song lyrics, daily journal entries, and dream journal entries, which I had written pre and post sobriety. I sobered up to save my life, yet throughout the years, I sometimes question if it was all worth it. Sometimes it is yes; sometimes it is not yes. It’s interesting how life can take you to places, which you never thought you would experience. The highs and lows seem to balance themselves out: flatlining. I have no words of wisdom, or “deep” philosophical insights, which no one truly gets. I have nothing for you today, except for you to enjoy your life. If you do not experience life, it might turn on you like a rabid dog, and experience you.
This is the base level of my foundation; the raw slab of consciousness, in which I have built my life upon from the ground up. My isolation chamber is my home. This is where I go to heal myself, and to be free from the bondage of the external world. Never place your life within another’s hands, as disappointment will find you every time. Live your life free from the others, as they are not here to bring peace into your life. The others will only bring their dogmatic views, opinions, and neuroses into your life; strangling the breath within you at any and every chance they can get. The catacombs within one’s mind, is the anchor of one’s inner thoughts. Within these catacombs, the true individual can heal themselves within their chrysalis, and move forward from any transformation they might be currently undergoing. This is how you and I heal ourselves: from within. The illusive external world will have you believing in lies and fear, as though these are real concepts. Nothing could be further from the absolute truth within one’s self. Within our minds; this is where our reality is created; not by a story we are told from another’s lying lips. Consciousness is the only defense the true individual has to protect their inner essence against the cesspool of neuroses within the illusive external world. It is proper to understand how the others, sheeple, and laborers know absolutely nothing about individuality, not do they know what true independence really is. For the true individual to spend extended periods of time within the illusive external world, without healing themselves within the catacombs of their inner essence; will bring about an increasingly toxic frequency within the true individual’s body energy field. This is why it is so important to never depend upon another person, nor the external world to heal one’s self from within. The majority of the sloth-like, uninitiated others, will most certainly resort to alcohol, drugs, food, porn, or other external vices, as a basic sheeple-response, half-assed attempt to heal some part of themselves from within. The majority of the others follow this route, as it is the easiest and quickest diluting method to numb any type of pain from within. But with these weak-willed and weak-minded others, they usually fail to recognize the difference between feeling numb, and healing one’s self from within. This is a commonality the others usually have in common, as most of the commoners fail to recognize most things in life.
At times, the weight and thickness of the energetic molasses, which can surround us at certain times in our lives, can and will weigh you down thoroughly and completely. What is it exactly that may be holding you back, which is steadily maintaining a stagnant flow of energetic communications within your life? Only you can answer that question, as I have never been able to do anything for you. I know you desire and seek peace within your mind, but do you really think the others will allow you obtain this illusively desired state of being? No, they will not. It is all up to you; just as it has always been. You are solely living for yourself; always remember that. No one cares about you, and they never will. Now, they may act as though they do care, but this is only because they may be getting something out of acting as though they do from another person. This is how the others operate within their lives; pretending to be something they never were to begin with. This is the way of the world, as humanity is the toxic pollutant; suffocating the ecosystem with every breath they breathe. The putridity these mouth breathers exhale, is in actuality the real cause of climate change.
VERNAL FIRE PRESS is an independent publishing house based in Houston, Texas. We were birthed out of the fires of necessity, to reveal the unseen ideologies of our spiritual paths. Our genres deal with the darker sides of life, as well as the hidden aspects of our personal human existence.
Within each and every one of us; lives a voice, an expression, a longing to seek out the specific thoughts, ideologies, and the modalities of the expression within our hearts. There is a specific underlying purpose behind the ideologies and philosophies of VERNAL FIRE PRESS. Our philosophy and our purpose, is to allow the seeking of internal and external explorations to be known and to be fully explored. Our brand of ideologies and philosophies are not meant, nor are they designed for the masses; nor are they designed for the weak minded. We are designated for the select few; as you will never find the select few, integrating themselves among the mindless pedestrians, who aimlessly meander through their lives. The individual, the true individual, knows the absolute truth of themselves, and will never conform to another’s ideologies or beliefs.
We live our lives within ourselves; within the mirror of our intents, and within the mirror of our expressions and diverse modalities.
It has now ended. All of this without having a beginning. No understanding. For what it was created for. I could see the despairing look within your eyes. Distant and ever-glaring. Your skeleton kisses. Numb, lacking conviction. There was no feeling or emotion put into any one of them. A routine you know all too well. I was just another. A man from a mother. A man you felt needed to know the power of your rejection. A man who was going to show you a deep internal infection. It was not that powerful. As the stories would allow you to believe. I have dealt with atrocities such as yourself for most of my life. One of my avid pastimes. You can provide the heartbreaking part. I will provide the breaking part. Your inner sights have been blinded; never seeing the created damage of your life. You are in fact the damaged damage. The internal and external defamation of solicited ideologies. You are the stagnation of misinterpreted philosophies. Hollow body. Life’s commodity. Everything and everyone are for sale. Sale of the century. Sale of impiety. The sale of living in betrayal. Liquidating your morals and standards. Pennies on the dollar. Auctioning your standards off to the highest bidder. You are extraordinarily protective of your lost nature. I have never held you responsible for yourself. Many of the sheeple do not know they have the power to be responsible for themselves. I know you were not always this way. I knew you before you started your exploitation expedition. You took a couple of wrong turns. Never caring to get right with yourself. This is why you have harvested the shattered memories within your burnt garden of lies. This is what created your landscape of disillusionment. There is nothing to reach out to within your psyche. There is no communication within sight. Just the shallow end of your cesspool, which may need a little bit more chlorine. Pissing in the pool. You described yourself as deep, honest, and spiritual. It was a lie you could never deny. I have caught you in many of these, many of times. I have dealt with enough lies within my life. I can smell the lies before the mouth putrefies the air with their syllables. I will allow you to maintain the belief of you being strong. You are as strong, as steel is weak. You will never again know my thoughts. I will give you exactly what you have given to me. Nothing.
If you feel as though you keep hitting a brick wall in life, then there must be some type of reasoning existing behind the wall. Sometimes circumstances exist to protect you, not to hinder your progress moving forward in life. Where does this protection come from? Perhaps a holy guardian angel, also known as an inner daemon? There is no exact threshold in which this knowing can fully be attained. Sometimes there will exist periods within one’s life, which simply needs to be lived through.
G.G. Kalfas 