Dig deep. Look for it underneath the skin. In search of the remnants of what was previously lived. The new skin is not that comfortable. Not as thick as the skin previously worn. Give it time to callus. Given enough time, it just might suffocate. I have been called every name in the book. It’s funny how I was the one whom authored the book. It is a slow process. So slow it will peel the skin straight from the facia. In a strange way, we are all searching for something to connect with. Unfortunately, purpose and meaning cannot survive without a connection to be nurtured from.
Tag: hidden knowledge
I Know You Do
It is these hollow mornings that will definitely eat you alive. In one solid bite. In one solid swallow. Those softly creeping footsteps you keep hearing coming from behind you, those footsteps are the sound of uncertainty coming to pay you a visit. An old friend who would like to remind you of your life and of your past. As though you do not have enough remnants of your past haunting you on a daily basis, uncertainty wants to make sure you absorb it fully, wholly, and completely. All of it. Every tiny morsel. Family and friends are also laughing at you. They never could understand your thought process, let alone anything which makes you who you are. The voices are grading and intruding upon one’s consciousness; violating the serenity wanting to bloom from within. No one could ever understand me, but I know you do. At least you act as though you do.
Some Type of Reasoning
If you feel as though you keep hitting a brick wall in life, then there must be some type of reasoning existing behind the wall. Sometimes circumstances exist to protect you, not to hinder your progress moving forward in life. Where does this protection come from? Perhaps a holy guardian angel, also known as an inner daemon? There is no exact threshold in which this knowing can fully be attained. Sometimes there will exist periods within one’s life, which simply needs to be lived through.
A Dying Compulsion
It is another way for you and I to connect. It is an energy transference, which many of the others cannot differentiate from any other mundane experience. You are unique in this special way. You can see through and beyond it; you can see through all of life’s illusions. As for me, I am the illusion which allows you to see beyond all of the illusions life and myself have to offer you. There is no other way, as there is no escape from me. I have created all of the sensations you have ever experienced through your senses. I know you thought what you experienced was real, but it was another illusion I allowed you to experience. It is that grand spiritual awakening you experienced a couple of years back. Finally, everything within your miserable life was finally making sense to you; even through it really didn’t, you made yourself believe it did. Self-deceit is the worse type of deceit there is. This strictly goes against everything a Satanist such as yourself is supposed to believe in. With the circumstance such as they are in your life currently, it can be easy to get lost on your path. Everyone around you wanting or needing your precious attention, just as everyone in your life is demanding some type of task you need to perform for them. I can only imagine just how tedious all of these directions must in fact be for you. I am sure you will eventually find a way to alleviate this tediousness; eventually severing it completely from your life. It is the undying compulsion within you to express yourself from within, which make the others want and need your attention so demandingly. You know the type; when you are available, they will not require your attention. But when you are enraptured within one of your expressions, and do not have time for anyone or anything else; this is when they will do everything within their power to distract you from your life, just so you will focus your time and energy on them instead of your expression. This is the way most of the insecure others live their lives. One should be extremely cautious and on guard at all times, as to whom they allow into their life, and their body energy field. If one allows another into their life without caution, the results of one’s body energy field becoming contaminated by another’s low vibration, could permanently damage and fragment the tonal frequency of one’s body energy field. There will be times when these others will portray themselves to be something they are not, as these times will be frequent and consistent. These types of others will try their hardest to sneak past your defenses, but mostly they will try to sneak past your intellect in order to manipulate your senses and your integrity. The key word here is ‘try’. These others are weak; weak in body, spirit, mind, and in thought, word, and deed. It can be somewhat amusing to watch these others trying to manipulate you, in order to achieve their selfish intentions. I have always found this to be a strange occurrence; how the weak within society usually think themselves to be of the strongest of their kind around. Such as the case of the feeble-minded, as they think themselves to be of the highest intellect.
A Symptom of Creating the Disguise is Silence
The quiet of the stillness; longing for and abiding at the same time. It is the quietness of the stillness within the mind, which creates the long sought-after wholeness. The deafening stillness of the mind, can be alluring at times. Especially when the mind is violently consuming within its own methodical ways. There are many ways, which one can drown out their own life. I have become the master within all of the methodical ways. The voices become intolerable. One over and under the other. A constant argument, contained within the cells of my brain. The voices speak their intelligible ways. An intelligible one-way conversation. As it will remain, and how it has always been. Transgressive. I tried to get rid of the voices a long time ago. My methods obviously did not work. This is why I developed a new methodology. Now I have given each one a name. When I hear a new voice within my mind, I give it a name. If the voices will not go away. I might as well get to know them a little bit better. If not me. No one ever will. I am their only hope at life in this world. If I do not give them a voice. Who will?
G.G. Kalfas 