How much longer do you think you and I have left? I am not sure either. This is why you and I must treat tomorrow as if it were today; as if it were now- as if it was occurring at this very moment. It is interesting, as you and I do not know what will occur tomorrow, let alone within the next five minutes. Consciousness transitions both time and space, yet consciousness also transcends within itself. Life is a state of consciousness, just as death itself is. There is no escaping tomorrow, as at one time, right now, was once considered tomorrow. Fucked up how that works; isn’t it? But then again, you and I are pretty fucked up.
There are no words I can use, which you will not misinterpret or abuse. A loose fuse, dying to lose. If there was one thing I could choose, would be to forget the memories, which haunt my thoughts every second I live within this life. There is nothing else contained within this life, which I could use to rhyme. It seems that time has run away from me, and has sought greener pastures without me in it. So, now I am here, with nothing and no one listening loud and clear. How else did you think it was going to end? A red rose, which smells sweet and romantic, or a delusional oppressed mind, running in circles, fragmented and manic? Life is a cycle of sin and sorrow, with no afterthoughts of death tomorrow. Sometimes life just does not rhyme, yet whether or not if it does, we all will eventually run out of time.
Do you ever get that feeling, as though you are being tested by powers and/or forces greater than yourself? Or perhaps, you are experiencing specific circumstances and situations within your life, as though you are being initiated into a rebirth? I have experienced this type of specific predicament many times over within my life. It feels as though one is a passenger within their life, as attempting to control any type of direction being traveled towards, is grotesquely futile. There is a difference between destiny and fate. Do you know the difference? Then I will tell you: destiny is the part of one’s life, which one has decided for themselves. On the other hand, fate is the life part of one’s life, which the “Fates” have decided for them. (Believe it or not; Greek mythology is not mythology at all!) Meaning: when it seems one has no control over their life, there are forces other than yourself, which are invoking their will upon your life; guiding you to your rightful place within it. During the process of this kind of transition, one will not have the capacity to understand exactly what is truly occurring within their life. It is only when one has arrived within their rightful place, will they possess the full capacity to truly comprehend the metamorphosis, which took place within their life. Chaos is the equilibrium within the independence of one’s character and inner nature.
If you look closely upon the picture above, you will see the eagle in flight at the top of the canvas; guiding the people below him, to where they need to be within their life. Destiny exists within one’s heart. Fate exists within the consciousness of creation. The eagle is on of the totems of Scorpio, the sign of transformation, rebirth, life, and death. One must experience a death, in order to live a new life. Just as you and I do on a daily basis.
Build yourself up or down; either way you will be making progress. You cannot measure progress through success or failure, as progress is a subjective manifestation within one’s internal maturity. You know, none of it really matters anymore. So, why not let go of it all, and simply allow life to unfold upon you? You can do that, but you can also keep your sanity in a safe place, by keeping it protected. Who am I kidding? You’re right; there is no safe hiding place, where you could keep anything protected, let alone your precious sanity. It’s another one of life’s tricks; a game life will play with you whenever it gets a chance to have fun with your psychology. I know this entry might not make any sense to you at this current point in time. The next time you are having a complete mental breakdown, simply re-read this entry; then it will make complete sense to you. These times do not come around too often, but when they do, they can be somewhat rigorous and deflating. What you will lack in strength, you will compensate with depression, anxiety, and self-loathing. These three mental states can be the best motivators you may ever come across. At first, they will not seem to be such great motivators. It is only when you fully accept and comprehend yourself in an authentic and demeaning way; you will begin to see yourself in the light you were born into. Everyone is born into a specific light radiance. Some are born into a bright glowing radiance, which will blind those around them. For you and I; we were born into a light, which casts a radiance within the darkness of the purest form. This is only for you and I to witness. The others do not and cannot comprehend the capacity which is needed to be contained within them, in order to understand you and I. This is exactly how you and I need life to be. The undeserving lemmings do not deserve to witness the raw beauty, which is contained within our hearts and thoughts. You and I are the only ones who can recognize and see within one another. Our inner sight can be penetrative and devouring. This is perhaps the sole reasoning as to why you and I intimidate the others to the extent we do. They have never had the capacity to understand either one of us, and now you and I know they never will.
The truths within you, will bear witness to the quality of the character contained within your consciousness. One can only ascend spiritually to the heights of his internal character, which is contained within his consciousness. The infernal traditions contained within one’s consciousness, will only be revealed, dependent upon the level of ascension one’s character has elevated to. Conversely, if one is of low character, and low moral and spiritual growth, the infernal traditions contained within, will more than likely never be revealed to his consciousness. The occult traditions are very specific, of who they share themselves with, as this is how the occult traditions maintain their longevity. There is a deep understanding within consciousness itself, as it only has the capacity to absorb energies, frequencies, and knowledge, in which it has the ability to harmonize with. If energies, frequencies, and knowledge are presented to one’s consciousness, which it does not have the capacity to harmonize with, the consciousness in question, will not have the capacity to understand, nor absorb what is being presented to it. This is where the sayings, “You are not on my level.” or, “We are not on the same level.” actually comes from. This is in reference to the level of ascension one’s consciousness has attained within their life. When one possesses an elevated character, one will more than likely possess an elevated consciousness.
I have stood at the top of many mountains. I have conquered the behemoth’s I stand upon. Many upon many men have conquered only one mountain. They allowed the mountain’s altitude to dwindle their salvation and aptitude; thinking they would never know another mountain’s summit. I know triumph first hand. Knowing of the Left-Hand. I know love first hand. Broken. I have seen the catastrophes played out over and over again. They could never make me blink. But you. Only you. You brought me to my knees. You desperately searched your path, as to why I could never be. Not once searching your path, as to how I could be. Another hidden movement within the realms of isolation. Melancholic moments memorized momentarily. Many of these seductions have been obliterated, during your synthetic relapses. A seductress with slit wrists. Mating pigeons. Broken glasses. Black rats. Dreams of a reckoning. Losing your money over honey. Pushing love away to maintain an extended vacation stay. Taking love straight down your throat. Hoping it will find the poor life choices and decisions; cutting them directly from your speech. Broken words and shallow incantations; fulfilling your erotic daydreamed hallucinations. I am your reality check. Another disposition you will come to regret. I am the mirror you refuse to look into. The one you tried to shatter into a million pieces. I will cut through you every time; shattering the truth right before your eyes. Slicing the rot away from your words. Force feeding your lies right back into you. I will use your words along with my might, to fist fuck your throat down into your stomach. I know you cannot make up your own mind. This is why you are lost on your precious spiritual path. You are a poor excuse for a spiritual awakening. You will eventually find your way. A way back to exactly where it is you have come from. If you allow the material to control and reside over the spiritual. Everything contained within you lies. Your lies are more honest than your heart. Your lies are the most honest part of your being. I have come across many charlatans such as yourself throughout this life, but none who possess your special type of vulgar finessing. This is your special quality. The most high and honest quality you possess. Who taught you such electrifying and deceitful ways? You have cultivated these qualities into such a refined artform. Drastic measures for drastic treasures. There will never be any hope of you finding a soul ritual.
G.G. Kalfas 