The anxiety might set in, as the nausea will soon make an appearance. One may ask themselves; is it worth it? No; it rarely ever is. One may also ask themselves; how did I get here? You unknowingly brought yourself here, or life quietly brought you to this arrangement, as there is usually a purpose and means for the unexplainable. Nevertheless, you are now here. The only way to heal this wound is to kill every last one of those mother fuckers. Not literally, but in the metaphorical sense (eye wink).
Tag: gg kalfas
A Name With No Meaning
It might be necessary to simply let go of wanting to achieve hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals. It might be necessary to simply let go, and to live life within one’s true self. There is no external world, for hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals to live within, as these types of paradigms only exist within the external, not the internal. I am my own internal and external. I am my own consciousness. I am my own reality. I am beginning to see just how frivolous the external world of achievement truly is. Achievement within the external is measured by what you can get, how much you can get, and how one may look within another’s eyes. What a waste of energy that is. Living one’s life, has truly become a lost artform. Not many of the others possess any type of comprehension of what consciousness truly is. It is another lost regimen, an informal specimen within the cracks and crevasses of the human soul. Life without a purpose or a goal. Living deep within a self-created hole. It is the living manifestation within fear and hesitation, which creates the worthless glorification of life’s cessations. There is no more life to live or to give, within a name with no meaning. The robin has always flown alone, searching hurriedly for his lost home. Looking for a place he can fit in, but has not found a place where he can begin. Life began a long time ago, yet Death has pulled a thread, which Life forgot to sew. Rip, torn, and spread, the life which was once lived and read. Another sarcasm, another phantasm, another reason, another internal treason. When eyes have the power and possess a taste which is sour, dirt shall be all which is left to devour. Another truth with no worth, another psychological mishap, another verbalized jaw strap. The conclusion to a life once lived. It died a long time ago, along with the goodness in me.
A Wide Distance
There is a spot within my heart, which will remain hollow and empty. The unknowing spot. The deep, hollow, empty, sinking spot. The unknowing spot, which birthed the plentiful knots and pains throughout my life. The unknowing spot, which birthed the inner convulsions, conversations, and contusions of self-hatred; spawning the actions of self-seeking. It seems I may have been born with it, or perhaps it was hollowed out early on in my life. I have sought to fill this spot with love throughout my entire lifetime; never finding a way to create any type of fulfillment within it. There is a living cycle within me; a seemingly never-ending cycle, which created a whirlpool of devastation within, and throughout my lifetime. I have opened myself wide, in hopes of another heart to embrace mine. I find there is no embrace, as I only hear a sigh, and see a turned back facing me. A wide distance; allowing me to see the true heart of another. This is how I have come to develop; unknowingly turning myself into the irony within my life: lusted after by many, loved by none. I cannot open myself up anymore, yet this is all my heart wants to do. My heart needs to be seen within the sunlight of the gods. My heart yearns to be heard within the ears of the angels; singing the Sun to sleep, awakening the Moon within a delicate aria. There are many exposures, which will allow you to sing within your lifetime. There are none so sweet and enchanting, as the exposure of your pure and gifted heart; allowing itself to sing, and to be known. The search within the journey of finding a heart like your own, will seem utterly hopeless: it very well might be. The only purpose in living life, is to give and receive love. When you live throughout your lifetime seeking this purpose and never finding it, this has the capacity to leave you feeling empty and frail, down deep into the depths of your soul. There are no limits to the emptiness, and the unfulfilling exposures, your soul and your heart will experience, during these transitional durations within your lifetime. Your frail and empty life may seem pointless and meaningless, within these overexposed times.
A Delicate Homicidal Device
A delicate homicidal device. The kind which tortures you from the inside out. The kind which creates realities you never knew could exist within your past, and will never exist within your future. It is a side effect of living life; being delusional while trying to understand the secret meanings within the strange occurrences contained within life. The types of meanings, hidden within secret and sacred symbolism, which the Universe surprises you with at very specific moments within your life. I have experienced these types of moments all throughout my lifetime, as they have been harbingers of occurrences to come. Sometimes, I will see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. There have been times, when I have seen anywhere from, one to five eagles flying together at the same time. When I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me, this is when I experience a deep, lonely sadness within my heart. Seeing the eagles, denotes there will be peace and uplifting horizons before me. All I need to do is maintain my course; getting through what I am currently experiencing, and all will become right again within my life. This has always been the case after I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. With robins, I have always associated them with love. The Universe speaks to me through the robins. When I start thinking about, and wanting love in my life, this is when I begin to see the robins. I never see robins on a consistent basis, I only see them when love is about to arrive into my life. It may not necessarily be of the true type of love, a soul type of love, or even a lasting type of love. The love I receive is usually of the passing type. I know the robins will eventually send the real type, the permanent type of love into my life. Or quite possibly, the robins might be fucking with me. I do not think they are, but you never know with birds. It is important to never reject love when it comes into your life, no matter what type or form it may appear in. Love will wear many different disguises, just as she always has. Our egos, this is what will reject love. The judgement within your glance, is the same judgement glancing back at you. This is the reflected image within the mirror, staring back at you. This image is love. Love will always make an appearance in your life, but not necessarily in the form we personally requested for it to be in. As though the human ego knows more about love than the Universe does.
EGO
The longing. The belonging. The symphonic appetite of might versus right. Wrong does not exist when might is starving. Butterfly wings when Nature sings Her songs of goodbyes. Fractured sensations bring about late revelations, of what was always known. The subtle hands of thirsty glands, will pour forth upon one’s stained Life’s sands. The confusion is not a delusion within the realm of substitution, as it is pouring forth the waste and haste from one’s inner contusion. One can feel the essence of Life dripping down from their hand, as the power is thick from within Life’s gland; providing it is being giving a tight enough squeeze. Life will squeeze you at specific times within your Life. This is when you might want to squeeze Life right back. Don’t worry, Life will not take it personally as you always seem to do. Life knows better than that. The human ego always seems to get in the way of one’s Life. Maybe when we stop living through our ego, we will begin to start living Life.
One’s Inner Harmony
I find it interesting how another will personalize the circumstances and situations within external world, and also personalize the circumstances and situations, which may be occurring within another’s life. When another is undergoing some type of life transition, it is a good idea to observe, but to never get involved. When one personalizes the experiences of another, this denotes a self-centeredness and a self-important closedminded paradigm. Another’s life experience has nothing to do with you. If it did, you would more than likely be experiencing the same circumstances. It is important to release this unhealthy type of self-centered thought process from your body energy field. By personalizing another’s circumstance and experience, you are in actuality drawing that specific type of energy and frequency upon you and your body energy field. The mind is a mental frequency, which can change its vibrational pattern and frequency at any given moment; with or without your permission. Think of your body energy field as a protective armor; keep that in which you do not want to entering it out, and allowing that in which you are in harmony with to absorb onto you. One’s inner harmony is achieved when the frequencies and vibrations within one’s body energy field are working in alignment with one another.
G.G. Kalfas 