The transition of an internal demolition. Killing the insides, just so you can grasp fragments of the air around you in order to breathe. Breath is completely overrated. Tell that to a drowning victim. In a way, we are all victims; of our decisions, choices, and personal attitudes. When life is suffocating you, and you do not have the internal capacity to breathe, it can be somewhat challenging to see straight. This is especially true if your lenses are dirty, and you need a new prescription. It’s nothing new to me: old hat. These cycles run themselves around my mind, and through my soul. Soul-crushing. A transition’s grin. The depths of insanity. The reality of uncertainty. I still look for that supposed silver lining. It’s covered in the blood and wreckage of my past. Another endeavor I could not spiritually afford. An affirmation. A devastation. The circumference of a broken heart. The radiance of a glowing death. Tears and fears in arrears. The only way to pay for life’s decisions and choices when under duress. How else did you think it was going to turn out? There is no fairytale to hold on to. There are no remembrances, which do not make me cringe. Some would say, “Just hang in there, it’ll work out if you just give it some time.” I feel as though time has run out. Time ran away from me crying and screaming. I truly wish I knew better, But at this point in my life, what the fuck is the point to any of it? The love I had within me died the day I was born.
Tag: darkness
Self-Reliance
Henry Rollins once said, “…all you have is yourself and your mind…” Over the course of my lifetime, I have come to understand just how true that statement is. Self-reliance within itself, is truly the only tangible grasp one can feel within their lives, as one is holding on to their nonconformist ideologies. In case you were wondering, I have never been able to depend on anyone within this lifetime; let alone trust anyone for that matter. All you can trust is one’s nature, and how they will live their life in accordance to their nature. Resourcefulness, nonconformity, volition, and self-reliance are the traits of an individual, who will only know success within their lifetime. Compliance = Death. Not necessarily a physical death, but the death of your consciousness. Remember that.
One Death at a Time
Craving isolation within the heart and mind. Not the global inducing type, but that of the intrinsic type. There is much to be missed from not experiencing solitude. Solitude lacks the violent noises of the others thoughts. Within this solitude, you can actually hear your mind speak to you. Listening is easy when your boundaries are not constantly being violated by the others. Survival mode. Kill mode. Take them out. Take them all out. If you and I don’t take them out, the mind-numbing sitcoms they hypnotize themselves with eventually will. I enjoy watching them slowly die. Slowly. They enjoy watching their mind-numbing sitcoms, little do these sheeple know, they are my personal sitcom. A trade: a global death for a global death. One death at a time. It is so slow; creeping on them without their understanding. The bliss of ignorance is a common goal for the commoners. One death at a time.
True Light and True Darkness
A fleeting glance into yourself. A distant voice screaming your name. A longing which will always remain unfulfilled. It is a culmination of purpose, meaning, defamation, and resilience; circling around the cesspool of your putrid animal desires. This is where it all ended for you; knowing nothing different other than what you have experienced. It is the same game you have played your whole life: the game of Chance. Soon enough, you will be out of chances; only left with the realizations of what could have been accomplished, if you were not so distracted by the distractions you artfully created for yourself. This is where that old story ends, and your new story begins. Now is where I give you the new start you have always been looking for; that new life you have been seeking, that cleansing you so desperately wanted. Here it is. It is all yours now. It is up to you if you keep it clean, or if you dirty it up before its usage. I trust you will make the right decision for yourself, as you have had a lifetime of making the wrong ones for yourself. I will give you some time to think about it; time for you to adjust to this new process, this new way of living. It can be a little daunting at first; seeing life, this game, this illusory enchantment for what it truly is. Most of the people in here have never made it out of here alive, yet I see something different in you. I feel confident you will raise yourself in the light you have always seen your potential in; a bright, glowing light, illuminating all of the external and internal seasons, from within to without. This is why I have allowed you to come in here; this is why I have allowed you to see me, my form, as I truly am. The others who have decided to come in here, they cannot bear to see my true form. I am unlike anything they have ever seen before. I am a culmination of the true light, and the true darkness; the super conscious and the subconscious combined. I am what the everlasting gaze into the unknowable looks like; an endless void into the human architype. Contrary to what you may believe, or what you may have been told; I am the true creator of this realm, I am the real reason as to why you are here, why you exist. The sole reason as to why your hands exist, serves the purpose of creating for me. Everything you create within this world belongs to me; by giving you the gift of life; in return, I shall receive the gift of creation from you. This is your true purpose, the true reason as to why you exist, why you are here.
The Boneyard of Your Bondage
The needle has been threaded, within the fabric of which you are embedded. A glimpse into the boneyard of your bondage. Threads can easily be severed, releasing that which is treasured. Hearing lies coming from the mouths of flies. A home in which you inhabit alone. The only type of frothing a wilted mouth can provide, and the methods from which it is sewn. These are words the herds will never know.
From Behind Your Eyes
It can only be tolerated for so long
That piercing feeling
That feeling you get in the back of your neck
It feels as though someone drove a flathead screwdriver into your occipital cavity
It is deep inside
You can feel the screwdriver moving around behind your eyes
It is trying to unscrew your mind from behind your eyes
It will not work
Your brain seems to be welded into your cranium
I have a blowtorch if you would like to borrow it
G.G. Kalfas 