It is these hollow mornings that will definitely eat you alive. In one solid bite. In one solid swallow. Those softly creeping footsteps you keep hearing coming from behind you, those footsteps are the sound of uncertainty coming to pay you a visit. An old friend who would like to remind you of your life and of your past. As though you do not have enough remnants of your past haunting you on a daily basis, uncertainty wants to make sure you absorb it fully, wholly, and completely. All of it. Every tiny morsel. Family and friends are also laughing at you. They never could understand your thought process, let alone anything which makes you who you are. The voices are grading and intruding upon one’s consciousness; violating the serenity wanting to bloom from within. No one could ever understand me, but I know you do. At least you act as though you do.
Tag: control
Breath is Completely Overrated
The transition of an internal demolition. Killing the insides, just so you can grasp fragments of the air around you in order to breathe. Breath is completely overrated. Tell that to a drowning victim. In a way, we are all victims; of our decisions, choices, and personal attitudes. When life is suffocating you, and you do not have the internal capacity to breathe, it can be somewhat challenging to see straight. This is especially true if your lenses are dirty, and you need a new prescription. It’s nothing new to me: old hat. These cycles run themselves around my mind, and through my soul. Soul-crushing. A transition’s grin. The depths of insanity. The reality of uncertainty. I still look for that supposed silver lining. It’s covered in the blood and wreckage of my past. Another endeavor I could not spiritually afford. An affirmation. A devastation. The circumference of a broken heart. The radiance of a glowing death. Tears and fears in arrears. The only way to pay for life’s decisions and choices when under duress. How else did you think it was going to turn out? There is no fairytale to hold on to. There are no remembrances, which do not make me cringe. Some would say, “Just hang in there, it’ll work out if you just give it some time.” I feel as though time has run out. Time ran away from me crying and screaming. I truly wish I knew better, But at this point in my life, what the fuck is the point to any of it? The love I had within me died the day I was born.
Which One Are You?
They are still talking to me; reminding me how little I have left to fall, in order to hit the bottom of life’s cesspool. Another pacifist trying to give me survival advice. Another noose I will need to tighten. Another indulgent delight I get to take part in. It never gets old; pacifying the ones who constantly need too much attention. Death, will more than likely be the only type of attention they will ever receive from me. The tears and fears they spread amongst themselves. Another virus to add to their motion picture pandemic. What kind of face covering do you wear to protect yourself from their stupidity? Some wear pointy hoods of cotton, while others wear M-95’s. I prefer for them all to see my face; naked and bare, and the disgust which is displayed upon it. It makes no difference to me, of how the others live their lives. All I ask is for the others not to proselytize their stupidity upon me. Really? Is it too much to ask? They get bored too easily; with absolutely no type of personal interests whatsoever, to keep them sharp, agile, or even self-aware. Self-awareness is truly lacking within these types, as though they are expecting everyone around them to be as dull, numb, and as stupid as they are. Very few have the ability to honestly think for themselves. Tell me; which one are you, agile or board?
The True Lemmings
Lost in the details. Feeding myself from my own entrails. The decay seems to be with me to stay. A cyclical cycle. Digging deeper and deeper. Digging for gold. Searching to find a part of myself I can hold. The daydream. The fallacy of brutality. Another disappointment reaching into my reality. Yes, you may touch it. It is undefinably real. I just know it is. There is nothing more unappealing than a bluntly obtuse lack of consideration. This is what the selfish others bear before your eyes. They do not see, nor do they understand the lack of radiance as a person they possess within themselves. These are the true lemmings within society, as they are closely related to sheeple. One would say they are sewn together with the same thread of ignorance. Self-medicating, will dumb you down faster than any type of comingling with the lemmings or the sheeple. My personal favorite are the “potheads”. I have nothing against marijuana or the people who smoke it, but have you ever heard an intelligent word come out of a pothead’s mouth? Neither have I. The establishment want you to get high and or drunk; moreover, the establishment wants your consciousness to be permanently to remain altered. This is how the establishment will always have its way with you, by providing the means and methods for you to maintain a specific type of numbness to your emotions, your life, the world, and to the bitter depths of how the establishment controls your wretched life. I know, I know; I am sure you have your excuses, as to why I am wrong, and why I am full of shit. But if you really take a moment to look at the world, yourself, and your life; it will be easy to see (if you can be non-judgmental for more than 5 seconds) how nothing going on in this world makes any type of sense whatsoever.
One Death at a Time
Craving isolation within the heart and mind. Not the global inducing type, but that of the intrinsic type. There is much to be missed from not experiencing solitude. Solitude lacks the violent noises of the others thoughts. Within this solitude, you can actually hear your mind speak to you. Listening is easy when your boundaries are not constantly being violated by the others. Survival mode. Kill mode. Take them out. Take them all out. If you and I don’t take them out, the mind-numbing sitcoms they hypnotize themselves with eventually will. I enjoy watching them slowly die. Slowly. They enjoy watching their mind-numbing sitcoms, little do these sheeple know, they are my personal sitcom. A trade: a global death for a global death. One death at a time. It is so slow; creeping on them without their understanding. The bliss of ignorance is a common goal for the commoners. One death at a time.
Natural Selection?
Considering their circumstances, it can be quite exhausting and tediously straining; dealing with the others, and their trivial thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Why on Earth would they think you or I would actually care about their personal holocausts? Who gives a fuck about them, or their internally shattered emotional states. One of the grand hallmarks of the others being in therapy, or undergoing some type of psychiatric treatment, is fiercely contained within their inner compulsion, their undying need to core-dump and completely unload all of their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the contents of their emotionally unstable mentality and emotions onto those around them. Fuck that! These types of others should be killed immediately: upon sight and contact. Consider this the truest form of social justice. It is easy to understand how this is the real type of social distancing. Six feet apart? Try six feet under. I am the ultimate healthcare provider, the other type of HMO. I am the truest form of a self-help realization. I am the strongest pillar of this community, in the truest sense of the word. I can be defined as the ultimate outreach program; helping those who were never able to help themselves. If you are not able to survive in a world, which is designed to take your life; why should we allow technology to interfere with natural selection? We definitely should not.
G.G. Kalfas 