Tag: blog

It is the loud and abrasive, woodblock sound, from the enamel covering chomping teeth, when one is possessed by the harsh throws of withdrawing from barbiturates, which come in the convenient form of antidepressants; all the while fantasizing about suicide, within a diseased intellect. I still cannot get the sound of Susan’s 300 pounds per square inch, of spastic, uncontrollable mandible chomping delirium, out of my ears. The chomping was so loud, so intense; I could feel the vibrations from her jaw within mine. Susan’s breathing was that of an asthmatic, combined with one who has been held under water, far beyond their lung’s capacity to hold any breath. Susan’s gasping style of breathing, combined with her 300lb psi chomping, were consistent with her personal confessions to me of wanting to die. I asked Susan, “Why do you want to die?” She nonchalantly replied, “I no longer believe in God”. This is when I shared my experience of the time I died, and crossed over to the other side of the veil of life and death. I also shared my conversation I had with the Infernal Consciousness, and how it does exist, and is very much real. After hearing my experience of crossing over, Susan was unaffected by my words, as she still wanted to maintain her journey through her suicidal playland. I suspect there is a part of Susan’s psyche, which gives her an erotic arousal, within these types of thoughts. You see, the subject in question is an old client of mine, as I have known her for over fifteen years. Susan has always possessed a meek disposition, while trying to come across as authoritative and controlling; projecting these false traits externally, in order to hide her true internal disposition. Yet this external projection, is simply a thin façade; coving the true debilitations she possesses deep within herself. I have never seen another human being, possessed within this extreme type of mental delirium. Yes; she has never been mentally well, but through her life, she has been able to maintain some functionality, despite the disabling throws of her personal neuroses. Upon sight, when she walked into the room yesterday; I could immediately tell, she was under the spell of a debilitating subconscious mind. The putrid and diseased intellect contained within her subconscious mind, had allowed foreign entities to possess her body energy field, as well as maintain a diabolical hold over her thought process. There were unknown foreign entities, as well as familial ghosts from her past, which were also inhabiting her meek and challenged soul. Unfortunately, Susan was too enthralled within her personal melancholia, to truly recognize or even understand for that matter, what was really going on within her mind. This is when I knew she needed an exorcism, but this was not a service I could provide for her yesterday, given the time I had allotted to spend with her. Instead of providing the initial exorcism, which she desperately required, I decided upon cleansing her body energy field, as a means to quiet the inner turmoil she was currently experiencing. To initiate any type of exorcism upon Susan within her current mental state, would simply be more than her fragile capacity could withstand. I doubt cleansing her body energy field did any good spiritually, but mentally it might have given her some type of emotional strength, in order for Susan to cease having thoughts of ending her own life. I had Susan step outside onto the 18^th floor balcony of her hi-rise apartment. When she grabbed the rails of the balcony’s boundary, for a moment I thought she might jump. A part of me wanted to watch her plummet do her death, as the other part of me would have stopped her if she tried. I poured sea salt into her cupped hands, and told her to hold them together; keeping the salt safely contained within the palms of her hands. I told Susan to focus all of her negative and troubling thoughts into the salt she was cupping within her palms. I explained to Susan; when it felt right within her body energy field, she would need to release the salt from her hands, by throwing the entire cupped contents of salt over the balcony. Once she released the cupped contents over the balcony, she exhaled deeply, as though she released something hideous contained deep from within her tortured soul. This is when she turned around, and looked me directly in the eyes. This is when with relief; she spoke, “Thank you”, as she then approached me for a hug. I was not comfortable hugging Susan, as I did not want any of her residual, lingering energy, coinciding upon my body energy field. But I intuitively knew, any residual energy which may still be lingering, did not, nor could, have power over my body energy field in any way, whatsoever. When I left the premises of her domain that afternoon, the thoughts of witnessing a subject in such a state did not leave my mind. In all of my years working with people, and their neuroses, I have never witnessed a subject in such a state of anathema. It is as though, she herself, along with the Infernal Consciousness, have purposefully put her in limbo of consciousness, for some type of payment for a karmic debt. How much wrong does one have to commit upon themselves, and upon the Infernal Consciousness, in order to experience that type of punishment? One will never know another’s thought process, life experiences, nor their true intent within their internal agenda, until one can see the world through another’s eyes. If you really had the opportunity to witness another’s outlook on life; would you choose to do so? By doing so, many people think they would find this endeavor interesting. I can share my personal first-hand experiences with you, as I can explicitly state: they are not! At first, you may be curious, as finding their outlook to be different from your own, but after a while of living behind their sights; nothing within those specific experiences, will be beneficial to you. There will be trace fragmentations, which will attach themselves to your body energy field; enabling your mind, slowly and steadily. It can take years or even decades, to thoroughly rid yourself and your body energy field of these infiltrating trace fragmentations. I know for certain, that I will not see Susan again. This certainty is not that she may end her own life; this certainty is of my own choosing. Susan will not longer be a client of mine, as our time together has now come to a close. There is nothing more I can do for Susan, as I can no longer benefit her life. I as well, no longer find a benefit nor purpose for Susan to be in my life. Existence is a reciprocal lifeform; one must equally give and receive, in order to experience any type of balance. When the scale of the order is tilted or not balanced properly, the experience becomes one-sided; creating a blockage, which no longer serves a purpose to either participant. I have personally witnessed how others, will try to bring about a resolve within a circumstance, which simply cannot and will not exist. As an example; wanting a square to become a circle or a triangle. Simply put: it will never happen. One must allow life to live upon the terms it has set forth for itself. There exists no such control over a life, unless that specific life has conceded its power over to another. Perhaps this is the death Susan had in mind; wanting another to consume the inner control within her, which she was no longer wanted to cultivate and harvest.