There is no such thing as a right or wrong decision- there is only the direction you move towards- that is it- that doubt- that second guessing yourself- it is all fake- just as this life we are supposedly living is- it does not exist- you just think it does- life is a dream you have not yet awaken from- the illusion of all allusions- the illusion of finding yourself recognizable- no one has ever recognized you- no one ever will- it would have already happened by now- if it was ever going to happen- it is true- you never know what tomorrow will bring into your life- how many todays have you lived, that were once tomorrows- so now you can see- it is the illusion within the allusion of the circumstances within your thought process- within your psyche- you can get down on yourself all you want- you can think about your past- the details you want to change within it- and all you know about today- it is all pointless- there is nothing which exists within your past, which is changeable- only the present can be manipulated- can be controlled- one can be folded into two- three- four- five- even six- it will sink low into you- but never allow it to go too low into you- you may never be able to get it out of your system- this is the way it works- all or nothing- the lack of not knowing- this is what will drive you insane- this is what will make you feel weak- insecure about yourself- just as it has always done to you within your decrepit lifetime- I never knew- or thought- life was going to be this way- there are mountains- forests- ravines- lakes- swamps- of regret within me- sometimes- I feel useless within myself- as though I have no power at all- always yelling at me- so fucking loud- it is another cycle of circumstance- I am ashamed of myself- the inability of not living my life the right way- not knowing how to live life- the lack of design- the welfare of it- I think it will all change tomorrow- it will all become better overnight- I have been waiting for this change for over 30 years- it does not look as though it is going to happen- I don’t mind- it does not seem to be my lot in this life to truly live- maybe tomorrow it will all be different- maybe tomorrow it will all change for me- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to let go of my internal damage- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to live- maybe tomorrow I will be able to allow all of the pains which are killing me to die- maybe tomorrow I will be able to accept myself- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to be alright with who and how I am- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to love myself-
Tag: wordpress poetry
A Delicate Homicidal Device
A delicate homicidal device. The kind which tortures you from the inside out. The kind which creates realities you never knew could exist within your past, and will never exist within your future. It is a side effect of living life; being delusional while trying to understand the secret meanings within the strange occurrences contained within life. The types of meanings, hidden within secret and sacred symbolism, which the Universe surprises you with at very specific moments within your life. I have experienced these types of moments all throughout my lifetime, as they have been harbingers of occurrences to come. Sometimes, I will see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. There have been times, when I have seen anywhere from, one to five eagles flying together at the same time. When I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me, this is when I experience a deep, lonely sadness within my heart. Seeing the eagles, denotes there will be peace and uplifting horizons before me. All I need to do is maintain my course; getting through what I am currently experiencing, and all will become right again within my life. This has always been the case after I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. With robins, I associate them with love. The Universe speaks to me through the robins. When I start thinking about, and wanting love in my life, this is when I begin to see the robins. I never see robins on a consistent basis, I only see them when love is about to arrive into my life. It may not necessarily be of the true type of love, a soul type of love, or even a lasting type of love. The love I receive is usually of the passing kind. I know the robins will eventually send the real kind, the permanent kind of love into my life. Or quite possibly, the robins might be fucking with me. I do not think they are, but you never know. It is important to never reject love when it comes into your life, no matter what type or form it may appear in. Love will wear many different disguises, just as she always has. Our egos, this is what will reject love. The judgement within your glance, is the same judgement glancing back at you. This is the reflected image within the mirror, staring back at you. This image is love. Love will always make an appearance in your life, but not necessarily in the form we personally requested for it to be in. As though the human ego knows more about love than the Universe does.
Internal Consciousness
To obtain purity within one’s essence, requires the fundamental understanding of being true to who and how you are within your internal nature. The essence contained within your internal being, is an internal representation of one’s external manifestations. The essence of who and what one is, could also be considered as the quality of one’s character. There are those who within their essence, possess a high quality of character; conversely, there are others who possess a substantially low quality of character. Only those who possess a high quality of character, will achieve ascension within their internal consciousness. One’s essence, is detrimental to their internal ascension. If one lives their life within the realms of theft, dishonesty, and coercion; they will maintain a definite lowered vibrational frequency within their essence, as they will not possess the internal vibrational frequencies needed, in order to ascend within their internal consciousness. For one to possess a substantially low quality of character within their internal essence, will leave one to live a defilingly base existence. It is important to maintain one’s distance, when coming into contact with these types of lowered essence others, who exist with the external realm. Purity exists within every level of one’s internal being. Purity is the core divination within one’s internal essence, as it will focus one’s attention upon specific sights within their life. One’s internal and external paradigm, is seen through the lenses of one’s internal consciousness, and the purity of one’s internal essence.
Life is Filled with Human Waste
A physical love letter from your life; addressed to whom you have now become. A child’s hands are delicate and inquisitive. These curious qualities slowly rot away, as we carelessly enter through life’s threshold. Never again will we experience such definitive wonder, questioning, or certainty. Do you really think it is that important to experience these qualities? At certain times, yes; but these times are not sufficient enough to bring forth the inadequateness of an underlying longing for death. It is important to fulfill your nightmares, so the glares of the daylight will fade away into the obscurity, which is your wasted life. Perhaps a wasted life is not necessarily a waste. What is the defining point of not wasting one’s life? Monetary gains? Owning property? Something material and tangible? None of that external waste means anything within these pages. You should know that by now. I consider a life to be wasted, when one lives their life for another, and not for themselves. Life is filled with human waste such as this. Life is only a waste, if you use your time not following your inner guidance. Most of the others are stuck living in survival mode, never finding a way to follow their inner guidance, as many of these others do not know of its existence.
Necrotic Whispers
It is as delicate and solitary, as the night is dark and indulgent. My mind. You have prodded at it enough. Callused membrane. Futility exists, when trying to comprehend its contents. There is no use to indulge yourself within the realms of honesty and purity. There are no thoughts for you to reflect upon, or to bathe within. The sweet sad notes of your voice; lingering and tingling within the shards of broken glass you swallowed. There is no future here for you to dwell within. There only exists the past of consecrated misfortunes and prior devastations, which will only know your broken words and thoughts, for your consideration. The tingling of shattered nerves, seem to scratch and itch within themselves. Ready to ignite the soulmates and the soul’s fates. You were speaking empty words, with a native tongue, within the singularity of tempting the masses. Your people. Sweating and wetting upon your unguarded fleshy mind. A doormat for strangers to walk over. Welcome. Come on in. Make yourself at home. The song within your beaten heart, will never be sung nor heard. The stinging within your words, will forever linger upon your dripping tongue. Another shattered and lathered bedtime story. Waiting for me to tuck you in; tucking you back into your coma. Time flies when you are unconscious, as this is the best way to travel. Dead weight as carry-on luggage. Dead weight for others to carry-on. An inconsideration you will always consider. I can hear your necrotic whispers in my ears. You thought they would sound sexy in my ears. My ears have heard it all.
I Think You Know Me
Those words of cyclical torture, which you constantly hear within the back of your mind, must be quite tedious to listen to when you and I engage in conversation. Inner dialogue has the capacity to be quite telling, and quite weighted; especially when you and yourself are the only ones who can hear the inner dialogue. I know you know me, just as I know you. I know you are a deep thinker; I can tell from your (anti)social media feed just how intelligent, philosophical, and profound you are. I am sure your thumb is exhausted from scrolling through all of the other deep thinkers posting their “profoundness” on social(ist) media. No, the others within your life do not “get” nor “understand” you, but I do. I know exactly who and what you are. No, I do not judge, but I do observe. Have you ever wondered why there are no more thinkers, such as: Aristotle, Nietzsche, Emerson, or Twain within the world? It mostly has to do with the fact that the majority of the lemmings within society, are quite comfortable not thinking for themselves, and prefer for social(experiment) media to do it for them. I know you are young, but yes; there was a time within our society when individuals (not followers, as followers will never lead), were rewarded for thinking for themselves. A time within human history did in fact exist, when being an individual profoundly meant something, and was looked upon with great reverence. In today’s world; one’s thumb gets more exercise than one’s mind. Think about that for a moment, if you have the capacity to actually think. I am beginning to come to the conclusion that you will never know me; simply because you have never taken the time to know yourself.
G.G. Kalfas 