Tag: soul

Dead Gardens

ggkalfas

I have played in the dead gardens of attention seekers before in the past. The ignorant who plant their futures in the dead gardens do not have much to offer, as there is even less to plant within the stench of its necrotic soil. I never could understand those who enjoy frolicking within the diseased soil these stench filled necrotic gardens provide for others to waste away within. There are many of the others who enjoy complaining about their tedious lives, as the defeat and rejection of life gives them something glorious to obsess about. I put all of my obsessions to death a long time ago, as I never could understand those who enjoy digging up dead memories from the past. One would think these others who enjoy the trivial obsessions which they create for themselves within their lives, is somewhat enjoyable and satisfies some type of dismal urge from deep within their empty souls. Surprisingly enough, this is how many of the others within this world live their lives. When I see them aimlessly walking the streets, they possess this curious look, which is floating solemnly within their lost eyes. It is as though life, and the way they live within it, is steadily strangling them from the inside out. This is not a bad way to be put to death if one does not know any better. These attention seekers are something else; aren’t they? Why the hell would they think you or I would have a care about them or their needless lives? I truly believe social media makes the others and their kindred sheeple, feel as though they are more important than what they really are. It is truly astonishing but mostly depleting, how these numbed-out, braindead social media enthusiasts believe their meaningless lives are actually important. Human life is not as valuable as many of the others believe it to be. If this was in fact the case, more of the others would place a higher value on life, especially their own.

Deep Within the Burn

ggkalfas

When strength and curiosity collide; this is when you know your time is up. The early hours are usually the most honest hours; containing the thoughts that would not dare to allow one to sleep. Hunger. Nausea. Ridicule; all burning a hole in your stomach. A fire that will burn you alive. A type of scarring a skin graft will never be able to cover. The rage acts out on behalf of your past; erasing, or at least trying to erase, every defeating memory within your thought process, which burns you alive. The Phoenix. The only ashes I have seen, are the ashes from my cigarettes. Breathe it in deeper. Choke on the aroma. Allow the bliss to settle deep within the burn. Be the fire, which burns you alive. Be your inner yearning.

Deadening a Simple Way of Existing

ggkalfas

It is in those tiny pieces of time; those tiny pieces in between each long and dragged out second, those long and tedious seconds, which create the moments within living through a lie. They are just as painful, as they are life consuming. Too much of life has been consumed by these tiny pieces of time, which have dragged life out for far too long. It was not supposed to end this way, but it seems to be the only way I have ever known. It was never supposed to end this way; it was never supposed to end on me. There is a fist within me; clenching my insides tightly. I have been within the grip of this clenching for all of my existence, it seems to have been born within me, when I was birthed into this vibration. The clenching has been with me for so long I forget it is there, hiding within me; holding, tugging, gripping, tearing, molding me into what I have become. There is a special kind of safety, I have found within this special type of torture; a commonality, a familiarity, a deadening, a simply way of existing. I wound not necessarily call it a way of living, as much as I would call it an emotional and mental mummification of the spirit. This clenching has not allowed me to evolve beyond a certain point within my life; holding me back, pulling me down to the point of submersion. I drown within my inner thoughts, my speech, and my life within this deep, unbearable clenching submersion. I have learned over and over again to breathe without breathing. This is a life consuming task, which I have grown accustomed to dealing with. It will move on me, more and more each day, as this is how I have learned to overcome the clenching’s hold over me. Over the course of my lifetime, I have learned how to master the submersion. This is the true difference between you and I; the true difference between life and death. This is the life of the internal, as this is the death of the external. I have now mastered both life and death. I have now mastered the illusory material, and the non-cognitive external. I no longer allow the clenching to defeat me within my life, as I now swim within the black waters of its clenching darkness. Now, I am the clenching’s master; I own her darkness.