Tag: poetry

Dead End

ggkalfas

Dear, Tedious

A dead end is not dead, nor is it an end. It is usually alive, dripping with the fruition of a new beginning. Isn’t a birth a death within itself? Now, I know what you’re thinking. You foolishly think this random blog post is an open door, which leads directly into the depths of my psyche. As though after reading this post, you own the true foundation of what it means to understanding myself and the rest of my kind. A follower will never have the capacity to understand an individual. You and the rest of the promulgated sheeple think the same fucking thing, time and time again. Your rudimentary thoughts and ideals are laughable. I’m not laughing. I understand your desire to be the top peck in the pecking order. You know it’s all nonsense; right? Of course you do. I mean, you wouldn’t be reading this post if you didn’t. I know you’re smarter than the rest of them; the other sheeple you blindly follow. Your intellect knows no bounds, other than the bounds of your short-sided, closed-mindedness. I understand your desire to connect and to belong. I also understand that death could be a viable option for you, perhaps it is an activity or at least a hobby you should look into. Perhaps your mirror has been lying to you this entire time, or the truth is far too lethal for you to face alone. Either way, you’re fucked.

P.S.

Get a new mirror and stop looking at me.

Good Night.

Deadening a Simple Way of Existing

ggkalfas

It is in those tiny pieces of time; those tiny pieces in between each long and dragged out second, those long and tedious seconds, which create the moments within living through a lie. They are just as painful, as they are life consuming. Too much of life has been consumed by these tiny pieces of time, which have dragged life out for far too long. It was not supposed to end this way, but it seems to be the only way I have ever known. It was never supposed to end this way; it was never supposed to end on me. There is a fist within me; clenching my insides tightly. I have been within the grip of this clenching for all of my existence, it seems to have been born within me, when I was birthed into this vibration. The clenching has been with me for so long I forget it is there, hiding within me; holding, tugging, gripping, tearing, molding me into what I have become. There is a special kind of safety, I have found within this special type of torture; a commonality, a familiarity, a deadening, a simply way of existing. I wound not necessarily call it a way of living, as much as I would call it an emotional and mental mummification of the spirit. This clenching has not allowed me to evolve beyond a certain point within my life; holding me back, pulling me down to the point of submersion. I drown within my inner thoughts, my speech, and my life within this deep, unbearable clenching submersion. I have learned over and over again to breathe without breathing. This is a life consuming task, which I have grown accustomed to dealing with. It will move on me, more and more each day, as this is how I have learned to overcome the clenching’s hold over me. Over the course of my lifetime, I have learned how to master the submersion. This is the true difference between you and I; the true difference between life and death. This is the life of the internal, as this is the death of the external. I have now mastered both life and death. I have now mastered the illusory material, and the non-cognitive external. I no longer allow the clenching to defeat me within my life, as I now swim within the black waters of its clenching darkness. Now, I am the clenching’s master; I own her darkness.

Darkness Shining Upon the Sun

ggkalfas

Shadows upon the records. Cyclical turns make the memories burn. Scarring the adorned flesh. Face-mask-mesh. Diseased air with a deadened stare. The density between you and I. Words of a craft. The witch’s talk. Words you have heard and adorned from your cradling. A child with wild aspiration. A woman with curves of devastation. Subtle lips. Caressing hips. Dips deep into my void. I am curious, mysterious, and intriguing that way. Guessing and blessing through life’s undressing. I know you know me. Strangers of an alternate reality. I know you know me. I am the darkness within your light. A satisfaction of infernal delight. Choices are made. Words are obeyed. Lives are slaved. Living life is the deconstruction of a skin trade. I know you know me. Thought of the records turning within your mind. Where did you go when you became lost within yourself? Another secret hiding place to feel safe within. Safety is the illusion you and I dream about every night. Alternate realities within alternate deities. Another secret and safe place to hide within. It is a secret you and I will never share with another soul, nor one another. I know your secrets, only because they are mine.

One Kiss and Swallow of a Slit Tongue

ggkalfas

A casual encounter, within a cyst to remember. Another doubt to be considered. Doubting you will ever deliver. A promise into the night. When we both witnessed the new moon bright. The glow shined bright upon you and I. All through that night. You wanted to try. That was all you could do. There was not enough motivation for you to sink yourself in. You were fighting and biting, in between your cut-up words. Maintaining a silence, which would never be heard. You cannot change the death within your past. The life you died in was never meant to last. Giving birth to future lies, while creating knots with your twisted tongue. Witnessing the cataclysm behind your eyes. Scarred skin you will never mend or blend. This is when the sleep sets itself upon you. Deviant nocturnal gestures. Remembrances of blissful suicides, while blossoming and blooming itself into extinction. Untying the knots, will only make them tighter. A pretty noose to match your slit wrists. Delighted blood feast. Dinning within your corpses delight. Mangled and tangled. Deliverance within forgiveness. Hail the western winds of frailty. Seeking their lusts from within your enchantingly tainted womb. The growling and howling. Mating call of the tomb. Impregnating its hollowed sacrificial tendencies. Regrets never tasted. Used and destroyed. This hand knows your blame. A shame you sought out. It slit your throat. Twice. Not deep enough the first time. This is when I will use my other hand. This is how they know your blame. The blood remembers, as the mind is forgetful. Including me. Our defamation. The subtleness within the way we quietly kill one another. The embrace of chains upon one another’s chest. A glistening glow of the reached for torment. Simple variations of killing within beauty’s garden. One seed at a time. One kiss and swallow of a slit tongue. Feeling and feeding the inside of your mouth. Paralyzed cries. Servitude within your bleeding thighs. A reality we have both fantasized about. The inner breeding of bondage. Longing for its suffocating embrace. One at a time.

A Dark Serenade

ggkalfas

You cannot take any more from me. The others have taken it all away. They have left me with nothing. Empty. Hollow. Right through to the center of my bones. They even sucked me dry of my marrow. This is all I have left to display for my life’s work. You can try. Nothing is all you will find. I am sure you will even try to take nothing from me as well. Something special for you to hold on to. The sweet blistering screams. A dark serenade; existing within the soundscapes of your living imperfections. How I crave, and love to dream of your painful blackness. This has happened before. Déjà vu. On a different vibration. On a different plane. In a different reality. Your kisses are missing the point. The air is filled with your kisses. The loving pain of their sweet annihilation. You will miss my last kiss underneath the midnight eclipse. There never has been any type of moral or motivational support. I do not know what morals would ever mean to you and I. Painting the feeling. With blood and bone. Dreaming the tearing. With sand and razor blades. Killing the willing. Subservient sacrifice. It is all the same to me now. There are too many questions being asked. Oblivion tastes sweeter than an unconscious confusion. This is what you have created life to be for yourself. Another chaos. Another cesspool. Another floor; feeling the delicate caress of your knees dropping to it. A new path you will follow. Better than the old one. A change of scenery. It is the same path you were on before. Leading to your apocalypse. Only the names and the people change. The paths never do. I saw how it came to this. How you strangled the love right out of yourself. Choking it to death. Asphyxiation fetish. There will always be someone to help you with that. Helping hands. If you do not appreciate the sights you have seen. You will never be able to understand the words painted upon it. Nor the bloodshed, which took place to create it. They broke you in two when you were young. Too young for open eyes. Too young for open thighs. Open thighs within a surprise. These types of surprises will get you killed. One way or another way. One cell at a time. One memory at a time. One lifetime at a time. Another way out, while you were looking for another way back in. Your body survived. Partially. Your psyche was shattered beyond repair. There is no mending for a broken soul. Carnality will preserver within the sub-human conditioning. Perverting your systemically impoverished mental capacity. One insertion after insertion at a time. Though, your mind did not make it. Slowly losing your spirit along the way. Along with your other sacred virtues, you desperately wanted nothing to do with. Your eyes see the same sights. A blinding moonlit night, which you will remember. Full moon rituals within romantic residuals. Slowly killing your shapeshifting ideals away from you. This is how collecting morals would eventually look, as they would be safely protected in your hidden treasure chest. A discerning type of forgetfulness, which simply allows a false pregnancy to be birthed into the world. Devouring and deciding the rest of your life for you. The romantic choices, which have been stripped away from your life. I know you have always been able to see me; denying your insightful spectrums. A life without me in it. Another pain you can embellish upon. Another opportunity to bleed yourself dry in. One last slit wrist. One last painful bliss.

Drowning Menstrual Stream

ggkalfas

The specific way a broken tongue is gently stroked, is the same way a face of disgrace washes itself clean from its daily routine. The needle will drain itself dry, pushing its illusions away, deep into the soul of your lost control. There is no soul, when a life reaches the point of no return. Sometimes, but only sometimes; I enjoy tearing the veil for those who need it, not wanting it. Forced oblivion, can be a delicious delight. The taste and the smell are never too much, or too soon. A forced penetration. Your apricots wither within the cycle of their drowning menstrual stream. I am fascinated by how quickly your lips turned away from me, as though you have never tasted death before. A stranger within your flesh; seething while striking down the teasing tongue. Salvation within the fleshy salivation. Remembering the bleeding cherries on top of your stomach. I liked how the blood ran down your side; permanently staining your chastity within the threads of your neat, white sheets. The floating fear within your penetrating stare, knowing I would be the permanence within your life; haunting your living and dying days for the rest of your unnatural life. This is what you and I wanted from one another; a deep longing, a deep connection, carving itself into our elastic connective tissue. This is the raw carnality, which permanently binds you and I together. Only time can remember the first caw the crow made, on the first day of our creation. You are the external stranger I have always known, as I have always been a stranger within the external world. I have glimpsed into it a long time ago, as I was curiously witnessing it floating past me on a daily basis. I quickly became blinded; strangling myself, trying to see beyond the vultures inhabiting its lusting domain. This is why I have created my external world internally. No joy or excitement can exist within a world of vultures; constantly ripping and tearing the flesh from bone, simply because they feed off of a lack mentality.