There is nothing I could say, write, express, show, glorify, or even carve into your heart and mind, which would allow you to obtain the attention you so desperately seek from the others.
Tag: life
An Everlasting Tone
It is not that I do not care, it is more of having put caring on pause. It is as though life is a movie I am watching, and I can pause it anytime I choose, simply to take a restroom break. Yeah, you’re right; it is pretty much shit all the way around. I should have listened to you from the beginning. I never did listen, as I have always wanted to figure out things (life) out on my own, and for myself. Sometimes it works out; sometimes it doesn’t. Does it really matter? None of it ever did, and I am beginning to recognize it now, as I was not able to do so before. What makes a bell ring at the specific tone in which it does? It is obviously due to the way that specific bell is shaped. Well, do you think you and I ring within specific tones, in accordance to the way you and I are shaped? I am still ringing-out from those choices and decisions. An everlasting tone, which still haunts my mind. The ringing is so loud, so abrasive, it makes my inner demons hide within their own shadows. Could you imagine? What a fucking waste of time; hiding within the shadow of your own shadows. It’s okay though; time is the only thing you can waste, when one has completely lost their mind, and everything that comes within it.
Deep Within the Burn
When strength and curiosity collide; this is when you know your time is up. The early hours are usually the most honest hours; containing the thoughts that would not dare to allow one to sleep. Hunger. Nausea. Ridicule; all burning a hole in your stomach. A fire that will burn you alive. A type of scarring a skin graft will never be able to cover. The rage acts out on behalf of your past; erasing, or at least trying to erase, every defeating memory within your thought process, which burns you alive. The Phoenix. The only ashes I have seen, are the ashes from my cigarettes. Breathe it in deeper. Choke on the aroma. Allow the bliss to settle deep within the burn. Be the fire, which burns you alive. Be your inner yearning.
Sinking Yourself Into Me
This is where we have always loved to play. Deep within your blackened mind. Those thoughts you are having right now at this very moment, they are not yours; they are mine. You can’t fool me, let alone yourself. You can say anything you like to me, but you and I will always know the truth. There is nothing you can hide from me. I see everything you try to live within. Those words, the clothing, that job, and that pathetic dripping life you so desperately keep clinging to, only weigh you down. Sinking yourself into me. I am a gluten for another’s punishment. I love to see the pain surface within another’s glossy eyeballs. Their eyes become so big; their lids are unable to keep them covered.
Recognized and Glorified
The failure to circumvent any type of diseased situation, could be quite devastating to the body energy field. To even be in close proximity to a diseased situation, could in fact be costly to one’s sacred energy. There are many types of people, who do in fact drag their tedious and belligerent undertakings, around with them wherever they travel to. This is how they showcase their life’s trophies to everyone they come into contact with. It is a devastating double-feature, with many script rewrites, and a cast of utterly and grotesquely disgusting sheeple. This is how many of the others display their personal anathema to the society they so desperately desire to impress. Yet, when given the full attention any neurosis deserves; the sheeple will utilize and exploit their life’s problems and failures, in order to bond with other like-minded damaged sheeple. This seems to be a tradition, which many of the others celebrate on a daily basis. The sheeple desire to be recognized and glorified for their pain, as though there is some type of bountiful treasure to be obtained by showcasing their personal anathemas, as though the ones around them honestly and sincerely care. Other sheeple do not care about other sheeple; they never have and they never will. Simply because one chooses to self-medicate themselves into a self-indulging stupor of self-importance, is reflective of just how much this other, truly does not know themselves. It is also reflective of how little of a desire exists, in order for this other to face the truth of their internal nature; hiding deep within their internal core.
Circumvent the Initial Response
This is when the stinging thorn of a dark cold Winter, will stick itself deep into your Common Carotid Artery. One must ultimately circumvent the initial response, and come to understand that what is being felt is actually hereditary. This is a father’s negligent and unloving gift to a lost son; a lost son searching for himself within the life-numbing pain of the stinging thorn, which is contained within the dark of a cold Winter. There are times when you will feel an internal itching, as though what you are experiencing is coming from deep within your inner core. There are also times when that internal itching, is not part of your internal core, as it has been grown from within you, not of your own accord. This internal itching, is actually of a hereditarian disposition. This internal function, may feel as true to you, as you feel true to yourself, but this is the subtle illusion of a hereditarian trick being played out deep within your consciousness. There may be times when you instinctually may feel to act, or think of acting in a specific way. Yes; one will usually be reactive in a specific way, in accordance to their specific life experiences and thoughts processes. Yet, there is a good chance this could be another hereditarian trick being played out upon the consciousness. Your personal reactiveness, a specific thought, or the internal dialogue you may have, could in fact be that of a father, mother, or possibly even an ancestor would have had. In actuality, there is no real way to tell the difference between the two. There are special disciplines, which one could perform, in order to break away from any type, or any residual hereditarian behavioral patterns. The first and foremost important step one would need to explore, is the exploration of one’s true inner self. The inner rawness contained within one’s self, may in fact be the rawest and most difficult process they may ever endure. A tremendous amount of inner strength is needed, in order to accomplish this endeavor. For most people, this can be a terrifying act of self-exploration, as they will spend the rest of their lives wanting to follow through within exploring themselves, yet lacking the initiative and inner strength needed in order to do so.
G.G. Kalfas 