A delicate homicidal device. The kind which tortures you from the inside out. The kind which creates realities you never knew could exist within your past, and will never exist within your future. It is a side effect of living life; being delusional while trying to understand the secret meanings within the strange occurrences contained within life. The types of meanings, hidden within secret and sacred symbolism, which the Universe surprises you with at very specific moments within your life. I have experienced these types of moments all throughout my lifetime, as they have been harbingers of occurrences to come. Sometimes, I will see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. There have been times, when I have seen anywhere from, one to five eagles flying together at the same time. When I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me, this is when I experience a deep, lonely sadness within my heart. Seeing the eagles, denotes there will be peace and uplifting horizons before me. All I need to do is maintain my course; getting through what I am currently experiencing, and all will become right again within my life. This has always been the case after I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. With robins, I associate them with love. The Universe speaks to me through the robins. When I start thinking about, and wanting love in my life, this is when I begin to see the robins. I never see robins on a consistent basis, I only see them when love is about to arrive into my life. It may not necessarily be of the true type of love, a soul type of love, or even a lasting type of love. The love I receive is usually of the passing kind. I know the robins will eventually send the real kind, the permanent kind of love into my life. Or quite possibly, the robins might be fucking with me. I do not think they are, but you never know. It is important to never reject love when it comes into your life, no matter what type or form it may appear in. Love will wear many different disguises, just as she always has. Our egos, this is what will reject love. The judgement within your glance, is the same judgement glancing back at you. This is the reflected image within the mirror, staring back at you. This image is love. Love will always make an appearance in your life, but not necessarily in the form we personally requested for it to be in. As though the human ego knows more about love than the Universe does.
Tag: judgement
Grasping for Air
I was never good at any of it, nor could I understand how to do it. Even today, it is the one thing I have struggled with the most. For the life of me, I could never understand how to connect with people. It has been impossible for me to maintain a personal relationship with anyone during my lifetime. I have found it challenging to open myself up, as the return for doing so is unwanted judgement and critiques. What is the motivation to open up to another; when the openness would be met with judgement and criticism? I cannot see how there would be any type of motivation within it. The others, they are greatly disturbed by my dark expressions and modes. The others are disturbed to their core with my expressions; this is how I know I am doing something right. I greatly enjoy disturbing the others with my work; witnessing the repulsion and disgust, swim across their faces, as though they are grasping for air. This is how I know I have hit something deep within their psyche; something they have been hiding from the world and themselves for years. Their judgements and criticisms are always the same; utilizing basic adjectives such as: off, strange, awkward, and my favorite, which I hear the most: weird. The majority of the others in society are base and mundane to begin with, let alone possessing the capacity to comprehend myself or my expressions. I like it better this way, it allows me the ability to quietly exploit their feeble insecurities; one insecurity at a time, through my expressions and modes.
G.G. Kalfas 