Making Their Way Towards You

When I sit alone, watching the others; this is when I can easily see the insecurities they possess on a daily basis. You can always see the pain within another’s heart, just by the way they hold themselves when they are walking. Sometimes, you can actually see this weight upon their chest, and within their heart, as their body is tilted forward when they walk. This can also be the same for another, who has the weight of their past upon their back; walking hunched over, as though this weight will eventually cause their body to collapse. Both the pain in one’s heart, and the weight of one’s past upon their back, will usually give the same appearance in sight. Upon closer inspection, you will be able to tell the difference between the two. No one person is the same as another; yet the many pains one experiences, has a familiar similarity to another. There are also the others, who walk without bending their knees; utilizing their hip joints to move forward throughout their lives. You can very easily see them from far away, heavily walking; shuffling from side to side, making their way towards you. These are the ones who are trying to dodge something within their lives. What is it exactly are they trying to dodge? The time it takes to ask that question, is how long my curiosity lasts. I do not care much for the others; I never have, and I know I never will. But I like to watch the others at times, it is as though I am observing a wild animal within its natural habitat. This is what the others are to me, what they have always been, and what they inevitably will remain: fucking disgusting animals in the wild. An animal can serve many different purposes: recreational use, bait, amusement, companionship, and also for laborious work. All animals which serve any one of these purposes, must become domesticated. The domestication of any animal requires one very specific ingredient, and that specific ingredient is training. An animal must become trained within the specific purpose they will be used for. Dependent upon the animal in question, and the purpose it will serve; will denote the type of training the animal will eventually receive. This type of training is the same for the human animals as well. No matter what walk of life you are from, or the socioeconomic tree you have branched away from; you have been trained in some form or another, only to serve a purpose you did not know you were serving. When I sit alone, watching the others; this is when I can see the insecurities they possess on a daily basis. Most of these animals are fucking bottom feeders; sinking themselves down, far below and beneath the lowest of the common denominators. These mouth breathers are killing the ecosystem from the inside out, just as they were trained to do, by the hand-held brainwashing machine they do not need, but will never be able to live without. I watch as these useless others, crawl and slither away on their potbellied stomachs. I can see through their disguises, when they wear specific attire. After being around, and witnessing the animals for an extended period of time, I can now see why Francis Galton, developed eugenics. Most humans are fucking animals; unknowingly being trained on a daily basis, without ever realizing it. Now go fucking kill yourself.

A Delicate Homicidal Device

A delicate homicidal device. The kind which tortures you from the inside out. The kind which creates realities you never knew could exist within your past, and will never exist within your future. It is a side effect of living life; being delusional while trying to understand the secret meanings within the strange occurrences contained within life. The types of meanings, hidden within secret and sacred symbolism, which the Universe surprises you with at very specific moments within your life. I have experienced these types of moments all throughout my lifetime, as they have been harbingers of occurrences to come. Sometimes, I will see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. There have been times, when I have seen anywhere from, one to five eagles flying together at the same time. When I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me, this is when I experience a deep, lonely sadness within my heart. Seeing the eagles, denotes there will be peace and uplifting horizons before me. All I need to do is maintain my course; getting through what I am currently experiencing, and all will become right again within my life. This has always been the case after I see the eagles flying high in the sky over me. With robins, I associate them with love. The Universe speaks to me through the robins. When I start thinking about, and wanting love in my life, this is when I begin to see the robins. I never see robins on a consistent basis, I only see them when love is about to arrive into my life. It may not necessarily be of the true type of love, a soul type of love, or even a lasting type of love. The love I receive is usually of the passing kind. I know the robins will eventually send the real kind, the permanent kind of love into my life. Or quite possibly, the robins might be fucking with me. I do not think they are, but you never know. It is important to never reject love when it comes into your life, no matter what type or form it may appear in. Love will wear many different disguises, just as she always has. Our egos, this is what will reject love. The judgement within your glance, is the same judgement glancing back at you. This is the reflected image within the mirror, staring back at you. This image is love. Love will always make an appearance in your life, but not necessarily in the form we personally requested for it to be in. As though the human ego knows more about love than the Universe does.

A Wide Distance

There is a spot within my heart, which will remain hollow and empty. The unknowing spot. The deep, hollow, empty, sinking spot. The unknowing spot, which birthed the plentiful knots and pains throughout my life. The unknowing spot, which birthed the inner convulsions, conversations, and contusions of self-hatred; spawning the actions of self-seeking. It seems I may have been born with it, or perhaps it was hollowed out early on in my life. I have sought to fill this spot with love throughout my entire lifetime; never finding a way to create any type of fulfillment within it. There is a living cycle within me; a seemingly never-ending cycle, which created a whirlpool of devastation within, and throughout my lifetime. I have opened myself wide, in hopes of another heart to embrace mine. I find there is no embrace, as I only hear a sigh, and see a turned back facing me. A wide distance; allowing me to see the true heart of another. This is how I have come to develop; unknowingly turning myself into the irony within my life: lusted after by many, loved by none. I cannot open myself up anymore, yet this is all my heart wants to do. My heart needs to be seen within the sunlight of the gods. My heart yearns to be heard within the ears of the angels; singing the Sun to sleep, awakening the Moon within a delicate aria. There are many exposures, which will allow you to sing within your lifetime. There are none so sweet and enchanting, as the exposure of your pure and gifted heart; allowing itself to sing, and to be known. The search within the journey of finding a heart like your own, will seem utterly hopeless: it very well might be. The only purpose in living life, is to give and receive love. When you live throughout your lifetime seeking this purpose and never finding it, this has the capacity to leave you feeling empty and frail, down deep into the depths of your soul. There are no limits to the emptiness, and the unfulfilling exposures, your soul and your heart will experience, during these transitional durations within your lifetime. Your frail and empty life may seem pointless and meaningless, within these overexposed times.

Heart’s Desire

One’s heart’s desire is a curious one at that. It is important not to make another, or to be another’s heart’s desire. Never make another the focus of your heart’s desire, as this is a sacred desire, which is not to be taken lightly. Never allow yourself to be the focus of another’s sacredness, as there will be an unwanted focus upon you and your body energy field. Love and affection are not the same as one’s heart’s desire, as these are two completely separate internal movements. Love and affection are of the heart, but it is of a different type of fluctuation than that of one’s inner desire. When love and affection of the romantic type exist within one’s heart, endorphins and hormones are released, which will produce and induce a euphoric state of blissfulness. When this euphoric state of blissfulness is experienced, one’s psyche will recognize this a love and affection. The main difference between love and affection and one’s heart’s desire, has to do with either an external or internal catalyst. Love and affection are of the external catalyst, while one’s heart’s desire is an internal catalyst. There will be times when these endorphins and hormones will try to fuck with your psychology. No, I do not believe you are grasping what I am communicating; I cannot overstate enough how these endorphins and hormones will completely fuck with your psychology, let alone your wellbeing in every way, on every level imaginable. They are merciless in their attack on your heart, psychology, and your body energy field. You will know when your psychology is being fucked with, as you will begin to start having conversations with yourself. You will know when your body energy field is being fucked with, as you will begin to deteriorate physically, and you will adapt to walking hunched over, as though you are carrying the weight of one thousand pounds upon your back.

A Fresh New Start

Almost home. Where does my heart belong exactly? Here? There? Somewhere other than here? No, my heart belongs to me; it belongs right here within me. I gave my heart away too many times; thinking each time was going to be different, as though it was going to be a fresh new start. It was always the same as it was previously. The desire for love has faded away, at least until the next time it comes to visit me. Maybe then, it will be different than it was prior.