They will beat you and eat you, but only if you allow them to. Who are, “they” you ask? They, are the ones, who want to see you die. They are the ones, who want to see you laying bloodied and bruised 6 feet under. They are the ones who claim to be liberated, but in actuality they are corrupted mentally and emotionally. There is no cure for those who are diseased within the spirit and mind. Only you and I can defeat these diseased fucks.
Tag: feelings
Their Laughter
There is something intangible, ungraspable; something I have been searching for my entire life. I know it exists, though I do not know what it is, where to find it, or what it could possibly be. I am not entirely sure if it is a thing, a feeling, an emotion, or death for that matter. I know its existence is real, and I will attain it. I know this does not make sense to you, but for those of you who do understand exactly what I am talking about, it does make sense. Just when I think I may have found what I have been looking for, it is then presented to me that it is not. This is when I can hear the gods laughing at me again, yet I never allow their laughter to hinder my intent or movement forward. Nothing will hinder my search for this missing substance within my life, which I know exists.
Spiritual Crimes
You knew the truth this entire time. One can become blind, to that in which they do not want to see. Are you able to see me now? I have been righht in front of you this entire time. I am a physical manifestation of your inner expression. A truth which can never be denied, nor satisfied. I will forever linger within your yearnings. A desire tasted, but never wasted. You have been wasteful plenty of times. Almost to the point of being guilty of spiritual crimes. Remember; I do not hold judgement against others. Yet, I will hold their hearts right before their eyes, and shred it to pieces, just as I did yours before your eyes. Simon says: you lost. So now you can go fuck off!
I Know You Do
It is these hollow mornings that will definitely eat you alive. In one solid bite. In one solid swallow. Those softly creeping footsteps you keep hearing coming from behind you, those footsteps are the sound of uncertainty coming to pay you a visit. An old friend who would like to remind you of your life and of your past. As though you do not have enough remnants of your past haunting you on a daily basis, uncertainty wants to make sure you absorb it fully, wholly, and completely. All of it. Every tiny morsel. Family and friends are also laughing at you. They never could understand your thought process, let alone anything which makes you who you are. The voices are grading and intruding upon one’s consciousness; violating the serenity wanting to bloom from within. No one could ever understand me, but I know you do. At least you act as though you do.
I am a Realist
It can be a confining feeling; being locked up within your mind your whole/hole life. There is no escape from the prison of one’s mind. A common place I have seemed to find myself in on a daily basis. There is no shelter in here, only the confining torment of the mind’s tricks and pleasures. A carousel of regrets, self-hatred, and lost opportunities. There is no escape from one’s self. To feel special and unique; this is a daydream only dreamers and deceivers fondle themselves in. I myself am a realist, as I can taste the bloodlust behind closed eyes. I can feel the temptations draining and rotting me from within. This is why I crave the isolation chamber; to keep the beast hidden from within, away from the rest of the world. No one has ever mistaken me for one of those weak-minded or weak-willed sycophants, who constantly need to be validated by complete and total strangers. The only thing worse than that, is being a stranger within one’s own mind.
Breath is Completely Overrated
The transition of an internal demolition. Killing the insides, just so you can grasp fragments of the air around you in order to breathe. Breath is completely overrated. Tell that to a drowning victim. In a way, we are all victims; of our decisions, choices, and personal attitudes. When life is suffocating you, and you do not have the internal capacity to breathe, it can be somewhat challenging to see straight. This is especially true if your lenses are dirty, and you need a new prescription. It’s nothing new to me: old hat. These cycles run themselves around my mind, and through my soul. Soul-crushing. A transition’s grin. The depths of insanity. The reality of uncertainty. I still look for that supposed silver lining. It’s covered in the blood and wreckage of my past. Another endeavor I could not spiritually afford. An affirmation. A devastation. The circumference of a broken heart. The radiance of a glowing death. Tears and fears in arrears. The only way to pay for life’s decisions and choices when under duress. How else did you think it was going to turn out? There is no fairytale to hold on to. There are no remembrances, which do not make me cringe. Some would say, “Just hang in there, it’ll work out if you just give it some time.” I feel as though time has run out. Time ran away from me crying and screaming. I truly wish I knew better, But at this point in my life, what the fuck is the point to any of it? The love I had within me died the day I was born.
G.G. Kalfas 