There is something intangible, ungraspable; something I have been searching for my entire life. I know it exists, though I do not know what it is, where to find it, or what it could possibly be. I am not entirely sure if it is a thing, a feeling, an emotion, or death for that matter. I know its existence is real, and I will attain it. I know this does not make sense to you, but for those of you who do understand exactly what I am talking about, it does make sense. Just when I think I may have found what I have been looking for, it is then presented to me that it is not. This is when I can hear the gods laughing at me again, yet I never allow their laughter to hinder my intent or movement forward. Nothing will hinder my search for this missing substance within my life, which I know exists.
Tag: emotions
The Breathing Movement of Consciousness
The vital essence contained within any and all types of life is the existence of consciousness. Consciousness, is the living and pulsating energetic frequencies of vibrations, which keeps life alive by movement. Everything which exists within this realm of what we consider reality, is a living breathing movement of consciousness. Any physical object which exists here within the material realm, vibrates at a specific frequency, which allow the object to exist as the material for in which it does. A subtle change in frequency, will in fact change the object’s material form. This is where the idea and the alchemical practice of transmutation stems from, as any material object can transmute into a different physical form, given the correct circumstances. The fundamental knowing of how to transmute matter within the material realm, is contained within the inner knowledge of transmuting one’s own consciousness from within, to without; from internal to external. Without this knowledge, any type of internal working is futile. The main source for this internal working to occur is clarity. One’s mind must be clear of all distractions, emotions, and of the partial wants and needs. Within this clarity, a knowing must be maintained in order to facilitate the inner workings. A belief is subject to distractions, emotions, and the partial wants and needs, while purpose within the transmutation is contained within the absolute knowing of what will be birthed into fruition. This is the core element for a transmutation to occur. It is of the greatest importance to keep and maintain secrecy of your internal and external workings. Society is filled with nonbelievers and naysayers, who want nothing more than to see your failure of any workings you will ever be involved with. This is one of the greatest deceptions one’s consciousness will know during a human’s life experience. It is important to know these facts, prior to becoming involved within any circumstance. In order to have an advantage over the others around you, it is important to know the lies and deceptions within another’s mirror; the same mirror they deviously use in order to project their negative energy from.
You
There’s no one at the end of the day that is going to make it better for you.
It’s all up to you…
The Ripping Departure
It is within times such as these, when everyone around you will start to doubt your abilities, motivations, intentions, and just doubt you as a whole. There will be no support from anyone around you, and if there is, they will throw all of your failures and liabilities straight in your face. Afterwards, they will claim they didn’t mean to do it, but you know they knew exactly what they were doing. They think they know what is best for you, yet they do not know what is best for themselves. The world will always close in on you. This is why it is important to keep you distance from the others, and the external world around you. No one will ever have your best interests at hand, as you must always travel throughout the external societal world with yours clenched; ready to strike anyone down at any given moment. One must maintain extreme prejudice and protection within their body energy field, when it concerns the external world. When does survival not concern the external world? I have not lived a day within this lifetime, when I was not under attack by some type of external force or circumstance. These externals can be somewhat impulsive at times; coming for you, your life, but mostly for your very soul. The sights projected from within their beady little eyes, their perception sees you as being indebted to them. This is their perception, the insecure mental state they constantly and thoroughly live within. You may feel stuck with them at time, as these types of people will constantly keep showing up on your life’s path. They are all distractions, nothing more. Do not allow these feeble-minded sheeple to distract you from anything while you make your way down your life’s path. It may feel at times that the wings to fly away from your life’s troubles and problems have been ripped straight from your back; leaving you defenseless and motionless. You may in fact be left feeling mentally, emotionally, or even physically paralyzed from the ripping departure of what you may feel is a defense mechanism of the ability to escape any situation or circumstance you may want and/or need to flee. There is never a need to escape, as you possess the inner strength within your body energy field, to handle any type of situation which may be presented before you. You never needed wings to fly, all you ever needed to change your circumstances is contained within you. It is your mind.
Some Type of Reasoning
If you feel as though you keep hitting a brick wall in life, then there must be some type of reasoning existing behind the wall. Sometimes circumstances exist to protect you, not to hinder your progress moving forward in life. Where does this protection come from? Perhaps a holy guardian angel, also known as an inner daemon? There is no exact threshold in which this knowing can fully be attained. Sometimes there will exist periods within one’s life, which simply needs to be lived through.
Breath is Completely Overrated
The transition of an internal demolition. Killing the insides, just so you can grasp fragments of the air around you in order to breathe. Breath is completely overrated. Tell that to a drowning victim. In a way, we are all victims; of our decisions, choices, and personal attitudes. When life is suffocating you, and you do not have the internal capacity to breathe, it can be somewhat challenging to see straight. This is especially true if your lenses are dirty, and you need a new prescription. It’s nothing new to me: old hat. These cycles run themselves around my mind, and through my soul. Soul-crushing. A transition’s grin. The depths of insanity. The reality of uncertainty. I still look for that supposed silver lining. It’s covered in the blood and wreckage of my past. Another endeavor I could not spiritually afford. An affirmation. A devastation. The circumference of a broken heart. The radiance of a glowing death. Tears and fears in arrears. The only way to pay for life’s decisions and choices when under duress. How else did you think it was going to turn out? There is no fairytale to hold on to. There are no remembrances, which do not make me cringe. Some would say, “Just hang in there, it’ll work out if you just give it some time.” I feel as though time has run out. Time ran away from me crying and screaming. I truly wish I knew better, But at this point in my life, what the fuck is the point to any of it? The love I had within me died the day I was born.
G.G. Kalfas 