Tag: conversations

A Wide Distance

ggkalfas

There is a spot within my heart, which will remain hollow and empty. The unknowing spot. The deep, hollow, empty, sinking spot. The unknowing spot, which birthed the plentiful knots and pains throughout my life. The unknowing spot, which birthed the inner convulsions, conversations, and contusions of self-hatred; spawning the actions of self-seeking. It seems I may have been born with it, or perhaps it was hollowed out early on in my life. I have sought to fill this spot with love throughout my entire lifetime; never finding a way to create any type of fulfillment within it. There is a living cycle within me; a seemingly never-ending cycle, which created a whirlpool of devastation within, and throughout my lifetime. I have opened myself wide, in hopes of another heart to embrace mine. I find there is no embrace, as I only hear a sigh, and see a turned back facing me. A wide distance; allowing me to see the true heart of another. This is how I have come to develop; unknowingly turning myself into the irony within my life: lusted after by many, loved by none. I cannot open myself up anymore, yet this is all my heart wants to do. My heart needs to be seen within the sunlight of the gods. My heart yearns to be heard within the ears of the angels; singing the Sun to sleep, awakening the Moon within a delicate aria. There are many exposures, which will allow you to sing within your lifetime. There are none so sweet and enchanting, as the exposure of your pure and gifted heart; allowing itself to sing, and to be known. The search within the journey of finding a heart like your own, will seem utterly hopeless: it very well might be. The only purpose in living life, is to give and receive love. When you live throughout your lifetime seeking this purpose and never finding it, this has the capacity to leave you feeling empty and frail, down deep into the depths of your soul. There are no limits to the emptiness, and the unfulfilling exposures, your soul and your heart will experience, during these transitional durations within your lifetime. Your frail and empty life may seem pointless and meaningless, within these overexposed times.

Heart’s Desire

ggkalfas

One’s heart’s desire is a curious one at that. It is important not to make another, or to be another’s heart’s desire. Never make another the focus of your heart’s desire, as this is a sacred desire, which is not to be taken lightly. Never allow yourself to be the focus of another’s sacredness, as there will be an unwanted focus upon you and your body energy field. Love and affection are not the same as one’s heart’s desire, as these are two completely separate internal movements. Love and affection are of the heart, but it is of a different type of fluctuation than that of one’s inner desire. When love and affection of the romantic type exist within one’s heart, endorphins and hormones are released, which will produce and induce a euphoric state of blissfulness. When this euphoric state of blissfulness is experienced, one’s psyche will recognize this a love and affection. The main difference between love and affection and one’s heart’s desire, has to do with either an external or internal catalyst. Love and affection are of the external catalyst, while one’s heart’s desire is an internal catalyst. There will be times when these endorphins and hormones will try to fuck with your psychology. No, I do not believe you are grasping what I am communicating; I cannot overstate enough how these endorphins and hormones will completely fuck with your psychology, let alone your wellbeing in every way, on every level imaginable. They are merciless in their attack on your heart, psychology, and your body energy field. You will know when your psychology is being fucked with, as you will begin to start having conversations with yourself. You will know when your body energy field is being fucked with, as you will begin to deteriorate physically, and you will adapt to walking hunched over, as though you are carrying the weight of one thousand pounds upon your back.