Author: ggkalfas

That instinct you have, you know the one I am talking about; the one you were born with, yes, that one. It is not as strong within you today, as it once was. It is only this way because you do not exercise it as you once did previously. Just as with anything within your life; if you do not utilize it, it will simply fade away into the obscurity of your existence. This is when the deep sleep sets in; making everything within your life unrecognizable, this will also include yourself. You will eventually become just another familiar face within the obscurity of your own life. This obscurity will slowly seep into your existence, rotting you thoroughly from the inside out, completely and fully. This is when the irritability will slowly seep in as well; engulfing and illuminating your insides, well beyond the point of their internal capacity. This is when you will witness the undeniable truth pour forth from your being, engulfing your world completely, wholly, thoroughly. It is a language you have become fluent in, within and throughout your life: the language of rage. You can rip life apart with your bare hands and your bloodied and scabbed knuckles. There is nothing more defiant, than the defiance of the way you live your life. Uncut, unfiltered, and unloved; this is the only way you have ever know, as it will be the only way you will ever know. Nothing and no one else care to know you, your lifestyle, or your thought process. This is the path you have treaded throughout your entire life; what would make you think it would be any different now that you have evolved into your true, undeniable self? Nothing has changed within the external world; it is only the internal changes, which set forth upon you and your lifetime. There is no difference between you and I, except for the understanding that there truly is no, “you and I”; there is only the illusion of you and I existing. Once this realization has unfolded before you, this is when the rage sets itself onto you. Allow this internal rage to consume your being completely. This type of rage is good, as it consumes you with the most purposeful attributes and meanings. This rage may be blinding at first, but once it has become focused; it will cultivate then devour, all that which hinders your forward movements towards the external circumstances within this illusion. Within this volatile rage, you will once again remember and regain your internal instincts you once lost contact with. The blockage of these internal instincts, is what has ultimately been your internal hindrances throughout your entire turbulent lifetime. Rage is the fertilizer for all things necessary to grow. Many of the others “think” and “feel” that this is the role of love, but it is not. Love is an all-consuming, confusing, and an irrational predator; leading the confused into directions they necessarily should not be going into. On the other hand; rage is focused, undeniable, and relentless. This type of focus will lead to the complete devastation and annihilation, of what is being focused on at any given moment. This devastating annihilation, will eventually lead to a new rebirth; the phoenix arising reborn from the burnt ashes of its bruised and bloodied past. Love is the forgiveness of the past, where rage is attaining completion, and the ability to move beyond the dead memories from within the past. I know you have tried in vain, many times over to see and to find another way through your confusing life. Have you found another way to move beyond your life yet? If you had found a way, you probably would not be reading these words at this very moment. There are many nuances within the confusion of the certain paths we choose to walk down within this lifetime, but never allow yourself to be of that specific confusion you are trying to move beyond and understand within this lifecycle.

Searching for the thoughts, which may will console my mind. Difficult tonight, just as it has been difficult for every night of my life; searching within my mind for these consoling thoughts. This search is elusive, trite, but mostly tedious within this fucked up endeavor. There is nothing within me, no thoughts within me; cultivating a form of consolation. There is one small hope, one small gleaming opportunity to resurrect this demon seed; the undeniable realization of falsely believing in my lies. This is a circumstance, which has puzzled me all of my life. I know my paradigm is distorted, within the certain aspects of how I see the world. I know people are inherently evil; some have lost their minds, going against their internal natures in order to live in accordance with the ecclesiastical laws set before them. So, why do I say my paradigm is distorted? When I leave the confines of my inner sanctum, and venture out into society; I do not see the people as humans, I see the people as wild fucking consuming beasts, dwelling within their natural habitat of this shit-rot concrete animal farm, we call a city. When I do venture out into society, I always feel a though I am on an episode of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. It is fascinating to watch the humans devolve from mankind, back into the uncouth beasts of the wild. By no means am I advocating killing off some of the useless human atrocities out in the wild; I am simply communicating most of these uncouth, wild beasts, should in fact be murdered. When you place thousands of these humans, in a very close proximity of housing, in some cases one on top of the other; you will in fact, watch as they devolve back into the uncouth beasts, they at one time ascended from. I have these types of thoughts most of the time; taking the life away from those who do not cherish, or do not fully understand their own. They simply have very little regard for life themselves; moreover, they ultimately do not have any appreciation, nor any understanding of it. I can see them, all of them as clear as I can see myself within my mirror. I do believe some of us were chosen, put here within this vibrational frequency to awaken the others. Sometimes the only true way to awaken another, is through the path of giving new life to theirs; through death. Some people are so damaged, the best solution, is to give them an eternal rest from life itself. When one becomes lost within their life; rarely does one find the capacity to pull themselves out of their delusion, to breath upon the surface of uprightness. Most people become, and ultimately remain content in being lost, damaged, and sacrificial, to the society which they are just barely surviving within. I see them all the time; sometimes I will talk to them, only when they are not scared of me. It is very rare to meet a perfect stranger, who will not become terrified by being approached by another perfect stranger. We are all strangers to one another; consequently, most people are strangers within themselves.

Within sowing the seeds of your life; you may come to find the transparencies within your disparities. This is easy to bypass, as long as you fully understand the inner and outer workings of the energies and of the spirits. Your life is a blank canvas; waiting for you to paint the picture within your mind upon it. Time and time again; you may not fulfill the obligations you may have within your heart, but as long as you maintain your vision, eventually nothing will ever be able to hinder your movement forward. This is the great secret; the great gift of antiquity. The inner knowing’s of this great work is paramount; the fulfillment of your truth, is what creates wholeness and true prosperity. Allow the negative, and base inner workings within your psyche; to fully dissolve into the past from which they evolved from. This is where all of the lies, guilt, frustrations, and the so called, ill-willed mental constructs thrive. There is no breath within failure; just as there is no life within the past. The past will only contain confusion and false memories. Do not believe the confusion within your past memories, as they all wrong; just as most of the past memories usually are. You must construct your life within the habitation of your inner nature as it exists within you today. This is the only true methodology of moving forward; towards the inner desires within your life. Others may try to inflict words of doubt, guilt, fear, and failure; just know they have their own motives at play, which have absolutely nothing to do with you, or your life-cycle. You may notice this at times; the different cycles, which revolve around you at certain stages within your development. You must pay very close attention to these cycles; as they are representative of inner wounds and conflicts, which will need to be tended to. There is a reason these cycles keep surfacing within your life, as they are manifestations of unhealed past traumas, which are still subconsciously affecting you, and your life. What is concerned within you, which needs to be resolved? This is for you to look at; decide what steps need to be taken, in order to heal from these conscious and subconscious wounds you have been internally experiencing through these years, which still remain unresolved. You must look internally within yourself for this healing, as no one else has the power to do so for you. You are the only one you can truly be honest with, as the truth is far more fantastic than fiction. Resolve your inner conflict before it is too late; as they may permanently intergrade with your personality, forever altering you in a light you may not want to see yourself in. This is partially why so many of us live within the darkness; as to not see ourselves within our mirror. This is not the great darkness of enlightenment, but the lesser darkness of spiritual, mental, and emotional isolation. Nothing will grow wholeheartedly, within the lesser darkness of isolation; moreover, postponing the inevitable within this tempting, all-consuming hibernation of the soul’s growth is a waste of time. In this case; stagnation and retreat, are far more seductive and alluring, than facing your inner cycles straight in the eyes. This is the grand deception your mind will play on you; making you think a circumstance is worse than what it truly is. The mind does not like to go into itself; as there are countless defense mechanisms and booby traps, in place to prevent such internal awakenings from taking place. This is the domino effect at play within your mind. When you come across a specific memory or experience you may have encountered within your past; it will lead you to other painful and ill proportioned memories, which are somehow deviant in purpose and meaning, to connect through unspecified pathways, leading you to even more painful and erratic thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This is when you need to be forceful, and breakthrough that stagnant hindrance within your polluted and distrustful mind. This will be difficult at first; but after time with a forceful insight, and through endurance and many internal conflicts, you will overcome your own mind, from the inside out. Thus, creating your own mind for yourself; releasing all of the poisoned thought process, which were carelessly put there by you, and others around you within your life experiences. That nervous knot may still persist within you, though you have tried all of these years to be rid of it. As long as you internally persist, it will eventually fade away; releasing all of the influx within negativity you have dealt with for the duration of your lifetime, back out into the Universe, from which it came. At times, you may find that knot within the pit of your stomach, coming back to visit with you; pay it no attention, as it is the remnants of past ills and anxieties you have faced throughout your lifetime. Just breathe, and the knot will dissipate by untying itself from within you; releasing the bondage you have constantly held yourself within for all of these years. There will still be much within you, which may remain unresolved within your subconscious, as this internal cleansing, is a lifelong progression of cleansing after cleansing. During your cleansing, the old habits, grips, and memories, may come back for you; sucking you deeply back into the abyss. You must resist these negative impulses, as they are seductive and alluring as well; possibly even more so, the further along you ascend within your internal development. The blockage you will face during your development, will definitely do its best to hinder any type of ascension, as the knots within your stomach will tighten, cutting off circulation within your digestive tract. To remedy this causative circumstance; turn your eyes inward, and see where this tightening knot has come from. You will have the ability to recognize the seeded source of this knot; as images from life experiences will flood before you within your mind’s internal eye, seeking refuge within your external life. You must not allow this knot to manifest within your life; as the results of these ill-timed manifestations will ultimately be dire.

When the brush is stroked across the canvas; lifetimes of pain will wipe themselves off, along with the paint. One has always existed within the other. Like will sometimes attract like, or it will attract its exact opposite. Undefined pain; this is the most lethal type of Death one could ever endure. There are many distinct modes, within the abstract of painting; none such as the brush Death paints you with. This is the creation process within pain; just as this is the creation process within healing. There are no other confines such as the permanent kind within your mind. Your mind can sometimes be a maximum-security prison for your thoughts; especially for the thoughts containing many distinct colors and shades of Death. These confines within your mind, are also painted within the shades of Death‘s expressions. This is when you will know you are home; the sanctuary within one’s own Death phase. The sanctuary within one’s own modes and expressions. The final sanctuary for one’s healing to begin. There are many undefinable pains within the expressions and modes; bringing forth the unknowable within you. There are many distinct colors within the many different shades of Death. These colors are nondiscriminatory within their methodology of expressing Death within the lives of those who choose to paint within their shades. One does not necessarily have to use their shades within a painting; one could use their shades within many facets within their life. These shades could be expressed within a thought, within the spoken word, and also within the action towards themselves or another person. The colors of Death are extraordinarily versatile; blending throughout and within all matters of the human expression. One may not even know they are using one of the many colors of the expression within Death’s shades; as this beauty is translucent within the thoughts, words, and actions of the humans. The expression of the many types of undefinable colors within the unknowable shades of Death, is worth dying for. You might think it is all the same, but it never was. This is your rational mind starting to play tricks on you once again. When you are expressed through Deaths colors; this is when you become undefinable, only because Death‘s sweet expression is undefinable.

My delicate sacred heart. We will never be apart. Gleaming skies. Will hear your cries. Eternity fulfilled within our hearts. We dreamed ourselves to sleep within one another. Recognizing the unknown name of father and mother. I see my myself within your eyes. No more longing for my soul. No more empty tries. No longer seeking any type of control. The tragedies and the memories will always remain. The pains of past lives are never to blame. We can drag our damaged past lives around. This is certainly no way to be found. Take in the Now. Forevermore. It is for you my longing soul. Breathe me in now. It is you I adore. It is for you my longing of no control. Withering winds. Distantly glance. Defecated away sins. Within our circumstance. There is no more to think about. There is no more to do. All I want for you is to bring about. The love I have for you. Distance is fleeting away. As the Now is eternal. Our souls long to stay. As our love is maternal. There is no use in hiding. What you feel is true within your heart. The Universe is abiding. Our souls from the start. You were hidden from me. In plain sight. Now you and I can see. There never was a wrong or a right. Only a soul’s love. A Universal eternity. The kind of tether which is unbreakable. The type of love which is makeable. Pulling and pushing. One death after the other. All the crossroads in the world lead to you and I. There was never a way around it. Our design was for the other. Our tragedies and maladies allowed you and I to fly. Our tragedies and maladies allowed you and I to die. Breaking away from the past’s grasp. Clasped hands never ask why. Divided minds will never try. A deep ocean. Sounding the drowning. Feeding our souls. Starvation’s control. A deep longing. Found us whole. Two within one. Eternal soul manifestation. Eternal soul devastation. In and within the Sun. We have become undone. Our rivers flow within one another. Sounding the drowning. Never dividing. Never ending. Never alive. Dead from the beginning. A life lived. In and through eternal sinning.

The treatment for life, is the ability to understand life itself. There is no other way around it. Today will be the same day as yesterday, and the same day as tomorrow; the only difference will be the circumstances which pertain to those specific days. It is up for you to decide if you will be a sadist, a masochist, or simply an observer. These are the three categories we all live within at one point or another within our lives. There is no other way to get around it, this is just how it is. I know you may disagree with me; if this is the case, simply take a real look at your life, and within your life, then tell me what you truly see. You will see life experiences which brought you pain, life experiences which you brought pain onto others, or life experiences in which you did absolutely nothing, when in fact you should have done something. Non-action, is the hallmark of an observer. So, you see; there are only three ways, three forms of treatment within this life; sadism, masochism, and observation. You can mix and match, and have something here or there; but the treatment remains the same.