Time will play tricks on you; half magic, half psychological. Time will make reality as you understand it, seem to mesh itself into a fragmented state of misunderstandings. Time and reality itself, will turn itself into a mirage of memories, which seem to have no purpose, understanding, or meaning. Faces of the past will blend themselves carefully into present time; seeking refuge within the present. These faces will not have purpose within the present time, as they once did within the past. This will be a blunt revealing, to what was once considered charitable and creative. Everything will look, sound, feel, smell, and taste completely different, as it should be different. All that which was known of and familiar within yesterday, will more often seek refuge within today; unfortunately, this refuge will be sought in vain. There will never be any type of refuge for what was known of within yesterday upon today, in present time. The rebirth of a forgotten memory, can sometime be considered a dangerous practice. If a forgotten memory serves no purpose within present time; what would be the benefit of remembering this forgotten muse? The mind has released this past content to the forgotten realms within itself; reliving a dead memory within present time serves only the forgotten past. The voices change, the looks change, yet the mannerisms still remain intact; an ode, which lingers upon the tips of the lips and the tongue. When looking into the eyes of the past, within present time; it is easy to see for yourself how you never belonged there to begin with. A resurrection from your past may appear within your life every now and then, but it is important for you to see it for what it truly is: a suction backwards out of present time. Resurrecting and reliving life through the death of dead memories, will send you backwards through your evolution. It is a quasi-near-death experience, while witnessing the devolved past, materialize right before your eyes. The past belongs where it currently resides, just as you belong where you currently reside. Your present time will eventually become a memory within your past; another distant, and fragmented part of your being and your reality. Can you truly find any type of veneration when looking into the past from present time? What is it about looking back upon the past, which will make you feel good about yourself in present time? What is it exactly you think you may have conquered? The past no longer exists within your reality, within your present time. There will never be any type of solace, sanctuary, validation, or relief, when living within, or looking back upon, the distant remnants of your past. If there is no peace within your mind in present time, you will definitely not be able to find any within your past. Within your present life, there is only enough room for what you take the time to make room for. If you make room for something, someone, or a distant dead memory, which does not help you within present time; you will send present time back into the past, to relive the forgotten and damaged life you once lived. This is a wound you are keeping fresh. A trophy of pain, which you gloriously adorn; symbolizing your past wreckage of immortality. Your favorite fashion accessory. It is perfect for any occasion, and will go great with any outfit. You can even wear it after Labor Day. I will not tell you to take care of yourself, as you have now been released from my life. Your intentions were not to nourish yourself within your present time, but to harvest more of the damaged past you crave and long for.
Author: ggkalfas
G.G. Kalfas is an American born author and publisher. He is also the noted author of many books, which encompass his experiences within life and death, as these experiences are displayed through the subject matter of his short stories. His intention for writing these books, is to display the importance of philosophy and psychology, as they play an integral part of the development contained within the experience of the human condition. Within his development, G.G. was compelled towards music, poetry, art, philosophy, and psychology. He was also the lead guitarist in a Houston based metal band, as well as the owner of an underground art gallery. He now spends his time writing about the darkness within the human expression, while exploring the hidden knowledge contained within the depths of life, death, and what may or may not exist beyond human consciousness.
Life has a way of Mangling your Thoughts
Empty promises, are not as empty as we sometimes think them to be. Our empty and broken promises, are filled with the lies and the deceits of our wreaked pasts, and sometimes our earnestly diseased futures. It becomes an easy habit to maintain, this giving away of empty promises and empty actions towards life. It can sometimes become a commodity with monetary value. There is a reward for handing out empty promises; this is probably the reasoning as to why it has become so easy to do so. It is not difficult at all, as the others ears are awaiting the golden words of deceit and fruitfulness; waiting to eat of the diseased words to fulfill their hearty appetites. The one chance you had to get away from it all, the chance was blatantly ignored without hesitation; thinking it would not be as bad as they said it would be. Well, how do you feel knowing the reality of where you are now, and what you have become because of it? Life has a way of mangling your thoughts, and your inside up to the point of becoming unrecognizable. Most of the time when this happens, you will be able to hear the bones within your chest cracking, then snapping in two. This is not an easy bone to swallow now; is it? Most bones usually are not, as you will have to properly snap them in half, in order to suck the marrow out.
Every Type of Death has an Origin of Recognition
Suffer to remain alive. A blissful decent through, and into your rotted life of inhumanity. Striving towards carcinogenic thought processes; devouring wholly and wide. Deepening all you have ever thought you have known. One more dip into the death pit. Slipping back inside yourself from underneath. Dying memories submerged underneath and around your feet. The hypnotizing stench of the buried dead you are standing over. A deeper translation; penetrating what you have always wanted to release. The thickening pale stench; permeating profusely through your nostrils. A resistance to the translation; suffocating you from within its putrid depths. These were your own words; your own bleakness manifested. A faint recognition of the bleak origin you were birthed from and into. Every type of death has an origin of recognition. Your face within the constellations of the blackened night sky. Contorting within a black hole; no one else will ever see within your eyes, but they will always get sucked into you through derangement. The midnight death rattles a baby plays with. Movement of the eternal dance through your eye’s origin. A black hole no one will ever see or recognize ever again.
A Symptom of Creating the Disguise is Silence
The quiet of the stillness; longing for and abiding at the same time. It is the quietness of the stillness within the mind, which creates the long sought-after wholeness. The deafening stillness of the mind, can be alluring at times. Especially when the mind is violently consuming within its own methodical ways. There are many ways, which one can drown out their own life. I have become the master within all of the methodical ways. The voices become intolerable. One over and under the other. A constant argument, contained within the cells of my brain. The voices speak their intelligible ways. An intelligible one-way conversation. As it will remain, and how it has always been. Transgressive. I tried to get rid of the voices a long time ago. My methods obviously did not work. This is why I developed a new methodology. Now I have given each one a name. When I hear a new voice within my mind, I give it a name. If the voices will not go away. I might as well get to know them a little bit better. If not me. No one ever will. I am their only hope at life in this world. If I do not give them a voice. Who will?
The Marrow within your Bones
This is when it is heavy, consuming, and mind altering; when the mind and the body are fully consumed by the uncertainty, which slowly seeps its way in. This seeping is purposeful, determined, maniacal, and extraordinarily forceful. This is when the mind will begin to start creating false realities from within; controlling your actions in every way, within its own making. This consumption of uncertainty, will manipulate your being in every possible way within your mind, body, and spirit. You will eventually be consumed to the point of being able to feel your internal organs becoming rearranged within your body cavity. Uncertainty is the greatest ruler over the human condition; a powerful and non-negotiable master, wreaking havoc upon your mind, one painful second at a time. It is humanly impossible to avoid this uncertainty, as it slowly and carefully seeps into your life. When this happens, you will be able to feel the butterflies swooning around within your solar plexus. Unfortunately, they are not butterflies, as they are in fact violent cassowaries. The cassowaries are violently running within your insides in circles; thrashing and slashing your insides apart and open, with their serial killer instincts, and their dagger-like claws. Soon you will have the taste of blood within your mouth; rising up from the inside of your throat, from having your innards thrashed and slashed open. You have no one else to help you, as there never was anyone who could help you. It will be an all-consuming weigh; weighing you down heavily, down deep, below the Earth’s moist soil. You will find that this rich, tainted, and devouring soil, will be the chrysalis of your transformation. Only within this unforeseeable transformation, will be able to devour your old self. This will occur in order for you to be reborn into the true shape, into the true self-expressionist, which has been hiding deep within your fragile inner core from the very beginning. You cannot evade your purpose any longer; your mirror will not allow it to be so. Now, is the opportunity to become the pain, the torture, and the devastation you have always fantasized about; depleting the old self entirely, before the rebirth has a chance to breathe life within this new illusion it is about to explore within your being. The infantile, feeble, fallacies, will certainly defile your rebirthing process without hesitation if you allow it. During your rebirthing process; uncertainty will seep deeply into your fasha, spreading through your muscles, organs, ligaments, then finally resting deep within the marrow of your bones. This is when I will split your body wide open; ripping the bones out of your chest cavity with my bare and bloodied hands, sucking dry the marrow from your bones. Having the marrow sucked clean from your bones, will be the last phase of your transformation process. I will put the old memories, the old habits, and the old ways you have known to death. I will be the only true death you have ever known. After me, you will learn a new way of living, as I am the old ways in which you were dying. There is no greater gift, than the gift of an eternal death. Within this eternal death; you can hear the peaceful and deafening arias of the Fallen Ones, slowly and softly, serenading your eternal transition within your many ecstasies.
The Realm of Illusion
Rigidity. Substance. Nonconformity. Self-reliance. Self-control. Critical thinking. Dominion. Clarity over one’s self: exist within the core attributes of the authentic, true individual. There are no other substitutions; the lack of obtaining these true, fundamental qualities, will be the equivalent of being lost within the herd of the other sheeple lost within society. The natural belief system within an individual is authentic, core, and fulfilling; as there is no truth more powerful than the truth of a man’s inner nature. The nurturing of one’s inner nature, should always remain strong and vigilant. Society will knowingly, and unknowingly try to tear this nature down, and bury it within the cemetery. There is no hope for the lost soul, as no one should help those who dare not help themselves. Secure yourself within your own mind. Level yourself within your own words. Reinvent yourself within your own actions. There is nothing more sacred which will ever exist, other than the existence of your true, unfiltered nature. The true, authentic individual; the true gift onto this mundane world filled with followers, doubters, and naysayers. Only the true, authentic individual, will obtain the power and the insight to transcend the negativity, and the sub-frequencies within the societal material realm of illusion. The true affliction, the true devastation, the true annihilation within this world, and within the soul, exists within the true character of a person. Only through our internal character, can we attain our potential, and ascend into the higher realms of consciousness and Ætheric being. I have attained the hidden understanding, insight, and the conception within the realms of inner and outer. There is a depth, which will never be explored, just as there is a height, which will never be known. To remain unknown, to live as a secret, to be created for the purpose of never being explored; this is the essence within the majesties of the internal, this is the dominion within all of mankind. If you are weak-minded, or lacking an individual’s essence; you exist for a reason and a purpose, which is yours to encounter. You decide your own enchantment, just as you decide your own suffering. Your thoughts create your life, deep within and without your mind’s all-seeing eye. All you ever wanted and never wanted is here, right now, present, for your taking, or for your rejection. It is what you decide for it to exist as: nothing more. You are the seed, which the Universe has planted; now it is time for you to grow into your own life, your own distinct way of living. The realm of life and death are calling upon you. There is a great distance within yourself from yourself. You must heal, so you will no longer have to kneel. You must stand erect to the material world of illusion, as you know it no longer can offer you, nor can it provide for you the life sustaining energies, which allow the soul to transcend this mundane mortal coil. Ascension is now. Life is now. Death is now. You and I are now, forever, and eternal. The chains have been lifted, as the bondage has been broken. There is nothing holding you back from me, other than your thoughts. Peering into the delicate eyes of death, I can see a blissful and delicate remembrance of what once was. The harsh, brutal, unloving eyes of life, contained within an energetic draining of the soul. The translucent veil of life and death await. The healing must take place; my healing from myself. I was the one, who was trying to kill me for all of those years. I know better now, yet the damage has been done, the consequences need to be paid. The lingering of yesterday’s self-deceits, are still lingering within today. Now, the translucent veil awaits my presence; awaiting silently for my soul’s essence. The true gift. Eternal love. Unconditional love. A soul love: the only type of love which can exist.
