Menstrual holocaust. Frozen entity. Wanting to be near me. Closed off. Shut down. Cherry picking wants and needs. Blowing me wilted kisses. Crushing the deadliest love straight through me. Squeezing the intellect out of my cock with your hugs. Dead thoughts. Without warning. Taking over the thought mechanisms. Tune down. Dropped life. Disappointment sets in. The same story repeated. A different book. Written in another language. I always read the same story for some reason. An unlearned lesson. It seems to be the only story I know how to read. The only story I know how to live. It is always the same. Contagious. Self-depreciating. Masochism at its finest. Soul bondage. A noose for good luck. It fits perfectly. Just like the rest of the nooses I have collected over the years. Masochism for sport. A daytime religious delusion spurting itself out. Lost within a nighttime stigmata of a retracted soul.
Author: ggkalfas
G.G. Kalfas is an American born author and publisher. He is also the noted author of many books, which encompass his experiences within life and death, as these experiences are displayed through the subject matter of his short stories. His intention for writing these books, is to display the importance of philosophy and psychology, as they play an integral part of the development contained within the experience of the human condition. Within his development, G.G. was compelled towards music, poetry, art, philosophy, and psychology. He was also the lead guitarist in a Houston based metal band, as well as the owner of an underground art gallery. He now spends his time writing about the darkness within the human expression, while exploring the hidden knowledge contained within the depths of life, death, and what may or may not exist beyond human consciousness.
Divide and Conquer
Entombed within the soul. This is how it has been for some reason: my experiences with the others. In the beginning, the connection is heavily over powering. The magnetism and the electricity are terrifying. All who are involved, can feel its intense, penetrating truth; vibrating within every cell of their being. There is a recognition within the eyes, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, pheromones, and other deviant sensations, thoroughly begin their untimely assault upon the senses. No one expected it. For all who are involved, must inevitably succumb to this overbearing avalanche of truth; thoroughly obeying its powerful desires. This is when doubt, hesitation, and disbelief set in, just as the wolf whom quietly watches the sheep from afar. This is to be expected; considering how the humans have such little trust within themselves, especially when it comes to how they think and feel. They have all succumbed to the palatable lies and truths, which they have lived through their entire life; scrummaging and rummaging around within their thoughts, never understanding or knowing the difference from one or the other. I do not think the others want to know the difference; happily living their lives blinded by their own incontinence. Nor can I help but laugh, when I meet such derogatory idealists. These others are usually pedaling someone else’s agendas, or an ideal they heard or read from one of their progressive media outlets. Every media outlet has been bought, and is owned by a corporation, who uses their purchasing power, to further their political agendas. Furthering a political agenda, could be simply equated as: the acquisition of capital. I find it humorous, when corporations, groups, organizations, and governments, try to authentically stake a claim, when caring about people. You and I both know, they do not give a shit about anything else, other than making a profit. All corporations and businesses, are strictly in the business of making a profit. These corporations are not in business for the consumer or their product(s), but for themselves. Corporations claim to care about their consumers, but this is only in accordance to revenue. These derogatory idealists, know absolutely nothing about life, nor do they truly understand what living life means. These others sell their souls to the highest paycheck. Where does the authenticity within this action exist? I am sadly amused by their lack of understanding, when it comes to living life. I do not enjoy politics, nor do I understand why there are two major political parties within this country. Why does this country have to be footed on the grounds of us versus them? This country has always been engaged in war, be it with other countries, terrorists (foreign and domestic), drugs, diseases, plagues, or itself. When will the citizens of this country realize, no one has their best interest in mind? Two political parties exist, for the purpose of keep the country divided. Divide and conquer. This is the motto. When do you think the citizens of this country, will take back what is rightfully theirs, from the 1% who are trying to kill them off? Your right; very few of them can actually see what is really going on. The ones who can see it, will wait for someone else to do it for them.
A Passionate Embrace Within the Nothingness
Nestled deeply underneath the crusted layers. Tightly woven in between the soft tissue. Covering the organism’s exoskeleton. Devouring itself from the inside out. Thoroughly maintaining equilibrium. Maintaining true authenticity. It keeps me safe at night. Warm. Protected. Secure. Hiding away from the world. Keeping my authenticity safely hidden. My secret endeavor. My secret life’s work. I am invisible. No one can find me. No one will ever be able to find me. Hiding in plain sight. I need to hide myself more often. I desperately need to protect myself away from those thoughts. All I want is to be left alone and loved at the same time. I want to hide myself away and be seen all at the same time. I am fucked up in this curious way. I will tightly bind and nestle myself into my own womb. My secret chrysalis. I will transform into what I was meant to be. Strong. The urge to KILL burdens my shoulders. If I was given the opportunity to get away with it. There would be no hesitation. NONE. This is why I hide myself away. I know I would thoroughly enjoy it. I would cum all over myself. This is why I hide myself away from the world. I enjoy the smell of necrosis. How many people do you know who could admit that? I hide myself in the deepest and darkest corners of my room. I want to shrink myself, so I can hide more efficiently. Delicately. Compartmentalized efficiency. Necrotic compartmentalized efficiency disorder. I want to be invisible to myself. I will never have to see myself ever again. Each time I look into the mirror I look different. Slightly unrecognizable. I am afraid one day a stranger will appear in front of me. I will be the stranger I see in the mirror. A pleasant surprise. A chance to meet new people. A chance to meet myself. Another part of me. The real me. A hidden part of me. Or simply another delusion contained within me. Is there a difference? I am the difference. The difference between the surface and the subterranean. All of the internal personalities I have become acquainted with during the time I have spent here. Friends for life. Best friends forever. Long lost friends. A passionate embrace within the nothingness. A varied necrotic compartmentalized deficiency disorder. I will keep me safe and protected from myself, and from this necrotic world I currently inhabit. The defiled world I seem to thrive in. I am my only hope. I hope I can count on myself. I better make myself count. This is the only hope I have for any type of mental peace. Who am I kidding? You?
Your Inner Knowing
There is an inner knowing, which is lurking quietly inside of you. This inner knowing is so quiet, one may never know of its existence. If you pay close attention to your external environment, you can see your inner knowing living within everything and everyone around you. I find it interesting, as to how one is constantly surrounded by their inner knowing. It can be a heavy and weighted bombardment of one’s life’s decisions and choices, literally staring back at them. How does this make you feel? How is it you have sought the golden nectar of life’s elixir, yet you cannot recognize yourself within life’s mirror? The tricks one’s mind and ego plays upon one’s consciousness, without a doubt knows no bounds. This is how a psychosis is birthed within the eyes and mind of the beholder. If you allow the confusion and turmoil of the external world to breed itself into your consciousness, then you have allowed yourself to surrender your free will within life’s external atrocities. This is not your life’s purpose, nor is it the reason you were birthed upon this realm. Be your inner strength, and move forward within your internal and external life; your very life might just depend upon it. The only salvation within this realm, is the salvation of your inner knowing.
Create Your Own Salvation
What is it exactly, which seems normal to you? Your scattered thoughts? Your mumbled words? The short breaths you seem to choke upon, on a daily basis? No; none of this would be considered normal. Hell, you and I have always been far removed from anything, which would be considered normal. This is why you must create your own salvation within your very own thought process. The others, who are very much basic within their thoughts, words, and deeds, all seem to be oozing propaganda from their thoughts. I have to wipe it off from my boots most of the time when I walk past them. This is why I try not to walk past them. This is why I have nothing to do with them. This is why I have never trusted them. How can one trust, that in which will betray themselves, let alone betray another within the blink of a thought? This is why distance is so important. Distance allows one to see the forest and the trees at the same time. Distance allows one to maintain the integrity of their thought process. Distance is what allows you and I to maintain our heritage within the corruption of another’s distortion. I have seen it so many times; false ideologies being indoctrinated upon the weak-minded. These weak-minded sheeple have absolutely no idea what they are getting themselves into, or out of. They seem to enjoy, and take pride in swimming in the cesspool of diseased lies. You and I know better than to fall or believe any of the nonsense, which is spewed from the lips and tongue of the control machine. If one does not know what to think, another will happily provide their thoughts for them, as these thoughts are contained within the world’s mirror for life’s inhabitants to choke upon.
The Most Pure
The love of one’s self, the acceptance of one’s inner light and inner darkness, the truthful acknowledgement of who, how, and what you are within your inner nature; this is the truest, most pure, and the only important kind of love, which can ever exist within one’s life. If you do not have an honest and truthful acceptance of your inner nature, down to the depths of your inner core; you will never find anything within this life, which will allow you to find any type of acceptance or contentment within yourself. No matter how many different distractions within your life you take part in; nothing will cease the tightening of the inner knot within your chest, which knows all of your masks, inner truths, secrets, and lies.
G.G. Kalfas 