There is no such thing as a right or wrong decision- there is only the direction you move towards- that is it- that doubt- that second guessing yourself- it is all fake- just as this life we are supposedly living is- it does not exist- you just think it does- life is a dream you have not yet awaken from- the illusion of all allusions- the illusion of finding yourself recognizable- no one has ever recognized you- no one ever will- it would have already happened by now- if it was ever going to happen- it is true- you never know what tomorrow will bring into your life- how many todays have you lived, that were once tomorrows- so now you can see- it is the illusion within the allusion of the circumstances within your thought process- within your psyche- you can get down on yourself all you want- you can think about your past- the details you want to change within it- and all you know about today- it is all pointless- there is nothing which exists within your past, which is changeable- only the present can be manipulated- can be controlled- one can be folded into two- three- four- five- even six- it will sink low into you- but never allow it to go too low into you- you may never be able to get it out of your system- this is the way it works- all or nothing- the lack of not knowing- this is what will drive you insane- this is what will make you feel weak- insecure about yourself- just as it has always done to you within your decrepit lifetime- I never knew- or thought- life was going to be this way- there are mountains- forests- ravines- lakes- swamps- of regret within me- sometimes- I feel useless within myself- as though I have no power at all- always yelling at me- so fucking loud- it is another cycle of circumstance- I am ashamed of myself- the inability of not living my life the right way- not knowing how to live life- the lack of design- the welfare of it- I think it will all change tomorrow- it will all become better overnight- I have been waiting for this change for over 30 years- it does not look as though it is going to happen- I don’t mind- it does not seem to be my lot in this life to truly live- maybe tomorrow it will all be different- maybe tomorrow it will all change for me- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to let go of my internal damage- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to live- maybe tomorrow I will be able to allow all of the pains which are killing me to die- maybe tomorrow I will be able to accept myself- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to be alright with who and how I am- maybe tomorrow I will learn how to love myself-
Only the Present Can Be Manipulated
Published by ggkalfas
G.G. Kalfas is an American born author and publisher. He is also the noted author of many books, which encompass his experiences within life and death, as these experiences are displayed through the subject matter of his short stories. His intention for writing these books, is to display the importance of philosophy and psychology, as they play an integral part of the development contained within the experience of the human condition. Within his development, G.G. was compelled towards music, poetry, art, philosophy, and psychology. He was also the lead guitarist in a Houston based metal band, as well as the owner of an underground art gallery. He now spends his time writing about the darkness within the human expression, while exploring the hidden knowledge contained within the depths of life, death, and what may or may not exist beyond human consciousness. View all posts by ggkalfas
G.G. Kalfas 